The Privilege of Womanhood-Girls & Friends

If you are anything like me, then the thought of girlfriends as a privilege of your womanhood may seem like a stretch. Most of my life, growing up in my small town, I found friendships with other girls to be very overrated! My younger sister, Laura, who just began grade 11, is now taking up her cross & climbing a similar mountain. Her closest friends, at the moment, are boys.

The reality is, girls can be mean. The can be spiteful, cruel and the worst bullies of all. Because, what they say, "sticks & stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me"...well, it isn't true. The most pain I have ever experienced in my life was at the evil hand of words and rumors spoken by girls.

Here is the thing though, having girlfriends can be the greatest gift. It has taken me years to understand and experience that, but it's true. Troy and I have been dating for 4 1/2 years. He is my best friend. But, I have realized that he will never take the place of girlfriends, and placing that expectation on him is hard on our relationship.

Men & women are sooo different, but we both need community. We get companionship in our relationships with the opposite sex, but we need fellowship & community with our own gender. As we get older, and get busier or friendships tend to grow, end or change. But it is important to remember that having at least one or two girlfriends is an irreplaceable gift. They will be able to help, encourage, guide and teach you in a way that a husband, boyfriend or guy friend cannot. Not because of any fault of their own, but just simply because they are created differently then us.

I know as my Mom got older, got married, had babies and got so bust a lot of her friendships that she had when I was very young are more just casual acquaintances now. They share a past, but not a present. Now, my Mom's closest friends are her sisters (she has 3) and her brothers wives (there are 4). They live close to her, share her faith, and are at similar places in their lives. She doesn't go out with them a lot or anything, but they share phone calls and children play dates. I know if you asked her she would tell you that these relationships are key in her life. Not because she doesn't have a wonderful marriage and husband she can share anything with, she does...but sometimes you need to talk to a woman who understands, first hand, the trials of motherhood, and of being a wife. You need the advice and wisdom of other woman in terms of being a faithful woman of God. These are things your husband/boyfriend/guy friends can encourage, but not things they can truly understand, relate to or offer first hand advice about.

So, if you are in the midst of an awful high school experience, and have had your share of girl bullies...I understand. I promise, it will get better. Find good, like-minded girlfriends...your friendship with them will be irreplaceable, come whatever may.

For me, the greatest girlfriends I have are my sisters, and my 'sister' Cecile from my year I served on NET. They are people with whom I share the bond of my faith, and with whom I trust my heart. I am so thankful for them! I love Troy, and am thankful for him...but sometimes I need girl time. 

I think the key to finding a good girl friend is similar to that of finding a good man. You need to look for them in the right places...you will not finding lasting friendships in seedy bars. Look for female fellowship in Church groups. If you're a Mom, seek out Mom fellowship in playgroups or Mom support groups. Look for good friendships in places you feel the most at home, the most comfortable and the most fulfilled. And, of course, trust God to lead good, holy, wholesome, wonderful women in to your life. He will not fail. 

Part 3, The Privilege of Womanhood is about being a Mother. Stay tuned!

Emily xo