My Mom had given up permission to finally tell our friends and classmates. One of my peers, whose locker was near mine, overheard me telling another one of my friends the big news. She turned to face me and said one word that nearly made me want to hit her.
"Why?"
My stomach dropped. This girl (who was an only child, by the way) had never met any other member of my family. She didn't know anything about us and here she was, passing judgement because of my number of siblings. A baby should be a source of joy. Always. But, this young lady could not see how having another child in our home would be anything but a burden.
I think why this moment sticks out in my memory so much is that is was the first time I had experienced any reaction, other then joy, when I spoke about my siblings. Since then I have heard it all. But, when I was 14, this was all new to me. It shocked and appalled me. It still does, actually.
I am going to do a 2-part post about this. This is part one, and I am going to tell you things I have heard from people when they ask how many siblings I have, and why it angers me. Part 2 will focus on why a big family isn't burdensome or awful, and my opinion on all of this. Keep in mind, I live in a very small town, so I am sure what people have said to me is fairly mild compared to what I would hear in a larger centre. Also keep in mind I am a Catholic, and large families are not uncommon, especially in the Catholic community where I live.
Here we go...
-please note the sarcasm in the responses-
"Do your parent's not own a TV?"
- Okay, yes as a matter of fact we do have a TV. However, what does this matter? Are you saying my parent's should watch TV instead of procreating? Yes? Ok, well let me put it this way...I am pretty darn sure that if more married couples used sex for 'bonding and babies' then divorce would be decreasing like crazy!
TV is not a replacement for sex. My parent's are not having sex and making me more siblings because they are bored and don't want to watch TV it is because the genuinely love one another, and our family.
Grrrr....
"Have they never heard of birth control?"
-Birth control? What is that?
Seriously, of course they have heard of birth control.... I am pretty sure if you asked a kindergarten class that they would say they'd heard of it. How could you not?
But, I think what you really mean is do they use birth control. And, that answer is no. Of course not. Neither would you if you did any amount of serious research on it. They do however use NFP. Which, by the way, is 95-99% effective, depending on the method you choose to use. And, they do not pump you full of nasty hormones and unnatural ingredients or objects.
"Is your Mom pregnant again yet?"
-Actually no, sorry to disappoint. She and my father have actually decided to stop having children because of you response when she is pregnant. But, I will tell her you were asking in case this means you'd actually give your approval of her having another baby.
"Why would you want your Mom to have more children?"
Silly. I clearly want more children because I love never having my own room. Or, even my own bed. And, I love having to fight over who uses to car. Oh, did I mention I love having built in clothes thieves?
Seriously though, how many children my parent's have is not actually up to me (and it's for sure not up to you). If I didn't want more siblings (which I do, by the way) that really doesn't matter. This decision belongs to my parents.
And, if you have ever had siblings then you know that they come with trials and hardships...but they also come with irreplaceable blessings. For example, I am never, ever lonely. Or bored. My sister has a massive closet, and I have access to outfits I wouldn't otherwise own. I get more opinions on everything I do then I know what to do with. I could look at that as a burden, or a blessing. But, it is nice to know someone (or 10 someones) is always looking out for my best interests.
I could go on and on.
But mostly, I just love babies:)
I have heard many, many more things.... but here is just a taste of what I have been exposed to. Of course there have been tons of wonderful, happy responses and for those I am thankful. But, what stands out more are the ones that hurt my heart. I also figured they were worth mentioning because maybe some of you have been on the delivering end of comments like these, and maybe now you can appreciate how it feels from here on the receiving end.
So, embrace large families. I mean, after all, they are creating your future.
-Emily xo
No comments:
Post a Comment