In the Eyes of the Beholder

There is a crisis in today's young ladies that surrounds one word that should never, under any circumstance, cause immeasurable pain, stress, illness or sorrowful tears.

beau-ti-ful

Adjective
1. Pleasing the senses or mind aesthetically.
2. Of a very high standard; excellent

Synonyms
handsome-lovely-pretty-fine-fair-nice

That is the definition that appears when we Google search the word beautiful.

This is the image that appears when you Google search the words beautiful woman.

So, what is the crisis, and where is it coming from? I think it's fairly clear from the images that filled the screen when I searched 'beautiful woman'. It was not filled with the Audrey Hepburns of the world, that is for sure. Or any modestly dressed, classic beauties. No...it was filled with scantily clad women, with huge chests, miniature waists, flat stomachs, long legs, glassy hair and sultry looking faces.

Who has defined beautiful in that way? The definition of the word suggests 'beautiful' should be associated with not only looks, but mind. It says that what is beautiful will be pleasing. That beautiful is excellence. If that's the definition, where has this image we associate with beauty come from?

I think it's easy to blame it on men. Women are often quick to say that if men didn't respond so readily to woman like in the photo then we wouldn't be dressing and acting that way...and we certainly wouldn't be defining beauty by those standards. But think about it. That does not make sense. We are the ones to blame. Yes, men have a part in it, of course. But it comes down to us.

It is no secret that attraction to another person beings with appearance. This is not shallow, it is truthful. If you are not attracted to the appearance of a person then chances are you will not have a relationship with them. That is because our sight is the first of our senses to be ignited when we meet another person. We notice how they appear. This is why it's so important to dress presentably for a job interview and such things. People notice us first by how we appear.

However, no two people find the exact same things attractive about other people. Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. How can we take it upon ourselves to define beauty in such a way, when that definition is not ours to make? Each man finds different qualities-both physical and otherwise-attractive about women. This is why we cannot assume we are or are not beautiful.

Yes, some women who are tall, slender, well endowed and wear very little clothing command the attention of men. However, sometimes that is not because they find them beautiful, but because they hormonally respond to women who are barely covered. We have come to associate beauty with the hormonal reaction of men...not to true attraction and excellence.

You are beautiful. Know and remember that. Someone will always find you the most attractive woman in the world, no matter your shape, size, hair colour, height or weight.

You truly are lovely.

Emily xo