St. Valentine, Pray for Us!

It's Saint Valentine's Day today. On my way to class early this morning I was reflecting on all the love I have received in the last 22 years. My parents have a beautiful marriage, and my siblings and I are products of their love. God has loved me into being, He has loved me through the rough homeschooling years when I was nothing but a terror for my poor mother, He has loved me when I was broken and alone and was by my side as I navigated the dreadful high school hallways, He loved me as I left home for the first time, He loved me through and despite every mistake, and He made me new again.

Between those 2 examples alone I have had more than enough fruitful and wholesome examples of love to look up to. I am thankful for that. Five years ago I fell in love for the first time. He too has loved me through many hard time, and has been with me as I grew into adulthood. He has seen me at my very best and he has seen me at my very worst, and still he loves me.

Love really is a gift. And, I realized this morning that I am so incredibly blessed by the love I receive from my parents, from God, from Troy, from my sisters and brothers and through my friends. And, I think I was, unknowingly, taking for granted that love. Until this morning.

I thought about the girls in my class (there is something like 38 students, and only 2 men...) on my way to the school this morning. Many have boyfriends, or friends with benefits... many have children and they are all preparing for careers that will require giving a whole lot of love.

But there is something else I have noticed. Many of them are barely 30, and have at least one child (which is beautiful), but of those who have children I would say probably only 2 of them are married. That is sad, but what saddens me even more is that most have them have been married. They are 30 years old (or younger), have a family and divorce papers. It's hard to keep an optimistic view of marriage in our world when this is becoming the norm.

So, what went wrong? It's hard to say, I guess. But, I have discovered that maybe it isn't so hard to pinpoint after all... love has become disposable. We are lending a hand in this divorce epidemic by presenting the view to the world that love isn't something that needs time or work. We cannot sugar-coat relationships or provide advice that consists of the sentence, "Maybe you have just fallen out of love with him." We need to be real, and honest. Love is a choice that is made in every moment of every day. And, love is impossible without God. Yes, impossible. I am not saying it's harder without God, or different without God. It is truly impossible without God IS love...without Him love cannot exist in our world. Not only is God the maker, creator and giver or love, but He is also the perfect example of love. He never gives up on us...and we are as imperfect as imperfect can get. We need to seek after His wisdom and example and enter every relationship in life with the understanding that romance is not present every moment of life, and we may have a crappy day or our friend, spouse, parent or sibling may treat us terribly sometimes (guarantee you treat them like crap sometimes too!) or you just may not feel in love. But love is more than a feeling...it's a choice and the result of it is more beautiful and miraculous than you could ever imagine.

Make sure people in your life know you love them today... even if you don't feel like it.

St. Valentine, please pray for us.

Emily xo

Is Valentine's Day a Silly Celebration?

You probably noticed that as soon as Christmas was over the store shelves were cleared of all things red, gold and green and they were quickly replaced with pink and white hearts and candies. Our world has become consumed with Valentine's day, and it has absolutely nothing to do with St. Valentine {who really is deserving of some attention here, come on!}.

But, I think often times we are quick to brush off Valentine's day as nothing more than ridiculous, and added pressure to do something special for those we love. But, here is what I think

1. We should not find it burdensome to celebrate our love. We are called to love...to love everyone around us. I don't think it is silly, or stupid to take a day to acknowledge your love of your spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend. Look at is as an added opportunity to serve and love them {St. Valentine died rather than renounce his faith in God. His love was larger than life, and a beautiful example of how we need to sacrifice to love more deeply}.

2. Love deserves celebration. Love is hard work, sacrifice and a lot of the time it can be downright difficult and unpleasant. But, it is worth it. God designed us for love...to give and to receive love. He never promised an easy, merry-go-round romance, but He did promise His love would be infinite and unconditional. Take a moment and look at your life. How has He proven that love to you {not that we need anymore proof, He died on the cross for us for goodness sake!}? Is it in the face of your spouse, in the eyes of your Mother, in the smile of your boyfriend? The love God has given us is worth celebrating.

3. Valentine's Day is an opportunity for honoring. When I was on NET they instilled in us the critical importance of loving AND honoring one another. In big ways and in small ways, honoring one another to show our appreciation and gratefulness for their life and all they have done. In 1 Peter 2:17 it says, "Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood.". We need to show our love, respect and appreciation for those whom we love. Valentine's day offers an opportunity to show that. 

So ladies, don't say the all too familiar line, suggesting Valentine's day is stupid and not worth acknowledging. And gentlemen, don't say it's a secular world's way of pressuring men into buying flowers and chocolate. It is more. It's a celebration of something that's hard, beautiful and worthwhile and a celebration of someone who is wonderful, and deserving of being celebrated. Ladies, celebrate your husband, boyfriend, sister, best friend, and parents. Men, celebrate your wives, girlfriends, mothers and sisters. 

St. Valentine, pray for us!

Emily xo

The Privilege of Womanhood-Being A Mother

Motherhood is an amazing gift! And, one given specifically to women. Clearly, I am not a mother, so my knowledge of this particular subject may be somewhat limited. However, I have a mother, and I have seen my Mother throughout numerous pregnancies. I feel I do have a wee bit of insight into this privilege.

First of all, pregnancy. I have heard several women complain about the strains & sorrows associated with being pregnant. And, I have no doubt that it is not all roses & butterflies. Trust me, I have seen my Mother make a beeline to the bathroom, mid-meal, in those early months (& sometimes later months, as well) of pregnancy. Nothing about that screams, "It's a blast!"

However, I am a glass half full kind of gal. While I acknowledge the sometimes awful side effects of pregnancy, I refuse to define pregnancy by them. I think that there are far too many lovely things about those first 9 months of motherhood to get caught up in the sickness, exhaustion, and uncomfortable-ness of it all.

First of all-YOU ARE GROWING ANOTHER PERSON. How phenomenal is that? Your body is housing, nourishing & comforting a tiny little person, conceived (hopefully) out of pure, honest & wholesome love. For me, that in & of itself is enough to convince me of the privilege of motherhood. I do realize though, that is not enough for some.

How about getting to feel this little one grow & develop. I remember being at ultrasounds with my Mom and hearing the baby's heartbeat! What an incredible gift! And, placing my hand on my Mom's stomach while the little one pushed a fist or foot against my hand. Nothing beats that. Seriously.

Now, this part I have no real experience with, as I have never actually had a baby. So, I am relaying on the information from my Mom, aunts, friends and grandmothers. Labour is probably the most painful thing you'll ever endure, I do not doubt that. But, I do marvel at how truly amazing it is that our bodies are designed in such a way that this is possible. Really though, it is amazing that our bodies can endure such extreme pain, push with such force, and in a matters of hours, present the world with a crying little infant. 

And, I am told that the memory of how extreme the labour pain is, leaves within moments of giving birth. I am not saying you totally forget about the pain...I mean you have the cuts, blood & stretch marks to remind you. However, our brains are programmed in such a way that we do not remember the severity of the pain. (I mean, if we did, no one would have more then 1 child).

It just amazes me how our baby & our bodies tell us exactly what to do, and essentially, prepare for the delivery of this child by themselves. It really is incredible. 

And, once you old that new little one in your arms, how could you regret even one second?

How stinking cute?!

Okay, and lastly, the privilege of Motherhood as your children grow. There is no denying that being a Mom is a lot of work. Heck, I put my Mom through the ringer! However, I have never heard a Mother say she wished she was anything else. No one else gets those quiet, middle of the night nursings. Yes, you may be exhausted and wish your baby would just sleep, but you're the only one who can bond with them this way, and you're the one they need. That is a wonderful reality, despite the nagging exhaustion.

And, you get to be there are they grow up and experience new things. No one gets to experience them quite the same way a mother does. You & that child have a bond that begins 9 months before they bonded with any other human being in their life. The relationship you have with your child will be totally different then any relationship they have with their Father, with their siblings or with their friends. You really did love them first, and they loved you first. 

So, remember that you really are privileged as a Mother. Yes, even when your child climbs into your bed or wakes you with their cries in the middle of the night. Yes, even when they throw a tantrum in the middle of Wal-Mart (sorry Mom). Yes, even when they make you want to pull your hair out as a crazy teenager. 

You are privileged, even then.

Emily xo

The Privilege of Womanhood-Girls & Friends

If you are anything like me, then the thought of girlfriends as a privilege of your womanhood may seem like a stretch. Most of my life, growing up in my small town, I found friendships with other girls to be very overrated! My younger sister, Laura, who just began grade 11, is now taking up her cross & climbing a similar mountain. Her closest friends, at the moment, are boys.

The reality is, girls can be mean. The can be spiteful, cruel and the worst bullies of all. Because, what they say, "sticks & stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me"...well, it isn't true. The most pain I have ever experienced in my life was at the evil hand of words and rumors spoken by girls.

Here is the thing though, having girlfriends can be the greatest gift. It has taken me years to understand and experience that, but it's true. Troy and I have been dating for 4 1/2 years. He is my best friend. But, I have realized that he will never take the place of girlfriends, and placing that expectation on him is hard on our relationship.

Men & women are sooo different, but we both need community. We get companionship in our relationships with the opposite sex, but we need fellowship & community with our own gender. As we get older, and get busier or friendships tend to grow, end or change. But it is important to remember that having at least one or two girlfriends is an irreplaceable gift. They will be able to help, encourage, guide and teach you in a way that a husband, boyfriend or guy friend cannot. Not because of any fault of their own, but just simply because they are created differently then us.

I know as my Mom got older, got married, had babies and got so bust a lot of her friendships that she had when I was very young are more just casual acquaintances now. They share a past, but not a present. Now, my Mom's closest friends are her sisters (she has 3) and her brothers wives (there are 4). They live close to her, share her faith, and are at similar places in their lives. She doesn't go out with them a lot or anything, but they share phone calls and children play dates. I know if you asked her she would tell you that these relationships are key in her life. Not because she doesn't have a wonderful marriage and husband she can share anything with, she does...but sometimes you need to talk to a woman who understands, first hand, the trials of motherhood, and of being a wife. You need the advice and wisdom of other woman in terms of being a faithful woman of God. These are things your husband/boyfriend/guy friends can encourage, but not things they can truly understand, relate to or offer first hand advice about.

So, if you are in the midst of an awful high school experience, and have had your share of girl bullies...I understand. I promise, it will get better. Find good, like-minded girlfriends...your friendship with them will be irreplaceable, come whatever may.

For me, the greatest girlfriends I have are my sisters, and my 'sister' Cecile from my year I served on NET. They are people with whom I share the bond of my faith, and with whom I trust my heart. I am so thankful for them! I love Troy, and am thankful for him...but sometimes I need girl time. 

I think the key to finding a good girl friend is similar to that of finding a good man. You need to look for them in the right places...you will not finding lasting friendships in seedy bars. Look for female fellowship in Church groups. If you're a Mom, seek out Mom fellowship in playgroups or Mom support groups. Look for good friendships in places you feel the most at home, the most comfortable and the most fulfilled. And, of course, trust God to lead good, holy, wholesome, wonderful women in to your life. He will not fail. 

Part 3, The Privilege of Womanhood is about being a Mother. Stay tuned!

Emily xo 

The Privilege of Womanhood- All it's G{l}ory

If you are a woman, or know a woman, then you know that we are given lots of opportunity to complain & be pessimists about our "hood". In a single day we can be given upwards of 50 different things related to womanhood we dislike, are annoyed by or make us feel downright awful. But, I am here to tell you that womanhood, in all it's glory (or gory, haha) is a true, wonderful privilege & gift...even when it feels like a curse.

First of all, PMS... once a month we become a giant tumbleweed of raging emotions and, of course, we feel like crap, thanks to our little 'friend'. If you're anything like me then you become to resent your womanhood for at least a week every month. And, rightfully so. It is awful and miserable.

However, maybe there's another way to look at. I have always had very awful periods. Maybe that's too much information (sorry). I remember one time, years ago, I was home from school 'sick' and was lying on the couch, clutching a heating pad to my abdomen. I was feeling nauseous and miserable, and sorry for myself. I looked at my Mom and said, "At least one day I'll be able to have babies, right? That's the good part of feeling so awful every month."

Obviously, there is no guarantee of fertility, but knowing my body was working correctly was the best promise I had of fertility, and that was enough to get me through. I hold tight to that every time I am hit with a wave of period cramps, nausea, and emotional roller coasters.

I think that clinging to that hope, and potential of one day being a mother is the bright side to this misery of womanhood. My aunt is interning as a NFP Creighton Model practitioner. When she first started out she asked if I would like to take the program from her. I agreed, and am so thankful I did! I highly recommend looking into it. I makes you truly grateful of the gift of your womanhood. It is helpful in understanding how your body works, and why it is the way it is. Even if you are unmarried (me), and not sexually active (me) it is most certainly worth your while!

Part 2 of The Privilege of Womanhood is going to be about girlfriends...keep an eye out for that!

Mary, Mother of Jesus, pray for us!

Emily xo