It's Saint Valentine's Day today. On my way to class early this morning I was reflecting on all the love I have received in the last 22 years. My parents have a beautiful marriage, and my siblings and I are products of their love. God has loved me into being, He has loved me through the rough homeschooling years when I was nothing but a terror for my poor mother, He has loved me when I was broken and alone and was by my side as I navigated the dreadful high school hallways, He loved me as I left home for the first time, He loved me through and despite every mistake, and He made me new again.
Between those 2 examples alone I have had more than enough fruitful and wholesome examples of love to look up to. I am thankful for that. Five years ago I fell in love for the first time. He too has loved me through many hard time, and has been with me as I grew into adulthood. He has seen me at my very best and he has seen me at my very worst, and still he loves me.
Love really is a gift. And, I realized this morning that I am so incredibly blessed by the love I receive from my parents, from God, from Troy, from my sisters and brothers and through my friends. And, I think I was, unknowingly, taking for granted that love. Until this morning.
I thought about the girls in my class (there is something like 38 students, and only 2 men...) on my way to the school this morning. Many have boyfriends, or friends with benefits... many have children and they are all preparing for careers that will require giving a whole lot of love.
But there is something else I have noticed. Many of them are barely 30, and have at least one child (which is beautiful), but of those who have children I would say probably only 2 of them are married. That is sad, but what saddens me even more is that most have them have been married. They are 30 years old (or younger), have a family and divorce papers. It's hard to keep an optimistic view of marriage in our world when this is becoming the norm.
So, what went wrong? It's hard to say, I guess. But, I have discovered that maybe it isn't so hard to pinpoint after all... love has become disposable. We are lending a hand in this divorce epidemic by presenting the view to the world that love isn't something that needs time or work. We cannot sugar-coat relationships or provide advice that consists of the sentence, "Maybe you have just fallen out of love with him." We need to be real, and honest. Love is a choice that is made in every moment of every day. And, love is impossible without God. Yes, impossible. I am not saying it's harder without God, or different without God. It is truly impossible without God IS love...without Him love cannot exist in our world. Not only is God the maker, creator and giver or love, but He is also the perfect example of love. He never gives up on us...and we are as imperfect as imperfect can get. We need to seek after His wisdom and example and enter every relationship in life with the understanding that romance is not present every moment of life, and we may have a crappy day or our friend, spouse, parent or sibling may treat us terribly sometimes (guarantee you treat them like crap sometimes too!) or you just may not feel in love. But love is more than a feeling...it's a choice and the result of it is more beautiful and miraculous than you could ever imagine.
Make sure people in your life know you love them today... even if you don't feel like it.
St. Valentine, please pray for us.
Emily xo
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Friday, February 14, 2014
Thursday, February 6, 2014
Is Valentine's Day a Silly Celebration?
You probably noticed that as soon as Christmas was over the store shelves were cleared of all things red, gold and green and they were quickly replaced with pink and white hearts and candies. Our world has become consumed with Valentine's day, and it has absolutely nothing to do with St. Valentine {who really is deserving of some attention here, come on!}.
But, I think often times we are quick to brush off Valentine's day as nothing more than ridiculous, and added pressure to do something special for those we love. But, here is what I think
1. We should not find it burdensome to celebrate our love. We are called to love...to love everyone around us. I don't think it is silly, or stupid to take a day to acknowledge your love of your spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend. Look at is as an added opportunity to serve and love them {St. Valentine died rather than renounce his faith in God. His love was larger than life, and a beautiful example of how we need to sacrifice to love more deeply}.
2. Love deserves celebration. Love is hard work, sacrifice and a lot of the time it can be downright difficult and unpleasant. But, it is worth it. God designed us for love...to give and to receive love. He never promised an easy, merry-go-round romance, but He did promise His love would be infinite and unconditional. Take a moment and look at your life. How has He proven that love to you {not that we need anymore proof, He died on the cross for us for goodness sake!}? Is it in the face of your spouse, in the eyes of your Mother, in the smile of your boyfriend? The love God has given us is worth celebrating.
3. Valentine's Day is an opportunity for honoring. When I was on NET they instilled in us the critical importance of loving AND honoring one another. In big ways and in small ways, honoring one another to show our appreciation and gratefulness for their life and all they have done. In 1 Peter 2:17 it says, "Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood.". We need to show our love, respect and appreciation for those whom we love. Valentine's day offers an opportunity to show that.
So ladies, don't say the all too familiar line, suggesting Valentine's day is stupid and not worth acknowledging. And gentlemen, don't say it's a secular world's way of pressuring men into buying flowers and chocolate. It is more. It's a celebration of something that's hard, beautiful and worthwhile and a celebration of someone who is wonderful, and deserving of being celebrated. Ladies, celebrate your husband, boyfriend, sister, best friend, and parents. Men, celebrate your wives, girlfriends, mothers and sisters.
St. Valentine, pray for us!
Emily xo
Saturday, January 18, 2014
23 Things
A few days ago I read a blog post, written by some 22 year old woman who thinks she has the answers to solving divorce rates....
Her post, maybe you also saw it, was a list of 23 things to do before the age of 23, instead of getting married. When I noticed the title of her post I was intrigued. I wondered why someone would make a list of things to do instead of getting married. As if life and marriage are two separate things that we have to choose between. So, I read her post, intrigued by what this stranger had to say about what I should do with my life in the next year.
In a month I will turn 22 years old. Up to this point in my life I have traveled to the Dominican Republic for the most beautiful, life changing experience I have ever had. I have completed high school, and have 4 months left until I graduate from college. I have moved across the country, away from my family, where I lived and volunteered for a year and met some of my best friends. I have fallen in love with my very best friend, and we plan on getting married. I have healed the relationships with my siblings and have become real friends with my sisters and brothers. I have stood next to my aunt on the day of her wedding, and watched her husband's face light up. I have held 2 sweet baby boys on the day they were baptized and I am so thankful I have the honour of being their Godmother. I have had the awful experience of finding out my best friend had been hurt and violated, and I am thankful she allowed me to be her shoulder as we worked through her healing process for two years. I have driven from Ontario to Alberta, and got to see the wonder of Lake Superior. I have splashed in the icy waves of the Atlantic Ocean and seen the splendor of God' creation as we explored the Hopewell Rocks. I have seen the beauty of the sun rising over the mountains that the stunning springtime in Vancouver. I have seen the great ships on the Pacific Ocean. And, I have found a full, deep and satisfying relationship with my King.
When I take inventory of my life over the last 22 years I am thankful and I am satisfied.
I think this article that this young woman wrote was sad. It wasn't a list of things she's thrilled to have accomplished, or that she is thankful for. It's a list of emptiness. Standing naked in front of a window and making out with a stranger are not things you will look back on and remember with happiness. They are not life-altering, profound moments that will make you search your soul. They will not make you a better, more well rounded person. They will make you empty. They will make your soul yearn for something greater. They will not be memories of happiness, but regretted mistakes.
As sad as this post was, I realized something...this girl wasn't all wrong. There are things you should do before getting married. Being married young, at 23, isn't for everyone. Heck, some people won't meet the person they'll marry until they're much older than 23. But, I think that there is a list of things to do, for your entire life, so you are ready, totally and completely, to walk down the aisle at whatever age God calls you to. I believe age is irrelevant.
Here is my list of things to do before you get married...
- Know who God is. This starts at childhood, if you're lucky. Before you are prepared to walk down the aisle you need to know God. God is love. I know, you probably heard that a million times. But, say it out loud. God is love. The very definition of God is love and we cannot love ourselves or another person until we know what love is.
-Define love. Once you know that God is love, and you know what God's love looks like then you need to define love. For you, what does mimicking God's love look like. Here's an example- my definition of love is willing the total good for the soul of another. What's yours?
-Know who you are. I don't mean have a vague idea. I mean really know. Know God, and ask Him to show you who you are, ask Him to reveal to you who He created you to be. This is a life journey. You will constantly be discovering who you are. But, know who you are, right now, in this moment.
These things will take you more time than going to the Philippines for the Chinese New Year. For some people forming these things begins in early childhood. For others, discovering who God is won't even begin until they're 25. It's individual. It's not for you to decide what the standard is for what we should and should not do when we're 23... Life's too short to define it with silly things. Get your soul to Heaven...get the soul of each person you love to Heaven. Don't worry about the rest.
I am so afraid young women around the world will read that blog post and they will look at their lives and be unsatisfied. Define your life by precious moments, not by how rebellious you've been or how many boys you've kissed.
God bless you!
Emily xo
Her post, maybe you also saw it, was a list of 23 things to do before the age of 23, instead of getting married. When I noticed the title of her post I was intrigued. I wondered why someone would make a list of things to do instead of getting married. As if life and marriage are two separate things that we have to choose between. So, I read her post, intrigued by what this stranger had to say about what I should do with my life in the next year.
In a month I will turn 22 years old. Up to this point in my life I have traveled to the Dominican Republic for the most beautiful, life changing experience I have ever had. I have completed high school, and have 4 months left until I graduate from college. I have moved across the country, away from my family, where I lived and volunteered for a year and met some of my best friends. I have fallen in love with my very best friend, and we plan on getting married. I have healed the relationships with my siblings and have become real friends with my sisters and brothers. I have stood next to my aunt on the day of her wedding, and watched her husband's face light up. I have held 2 sweet baby boys on the day they were baptized and I am so thankful I have the honour of being their Godmother. I have had the awful experience of finding out my best friend had been hurt and violated, and I am thankful she allowed me to be her shoulder as we worked through her healing process for two years. I have driven from Ontario to Alberta, and got to see the wonder of Lake Superior. I have splashed in the icy waves of the Atlantic Ocean and seen the splendor of God' creation as we explored the Hopewell Rocks. I have seen the beauty of the sun rising over the mountains that the stunning springtime in Vancouver. I have seen the great ships on the Pacific Ocean. And, I have found a full, deep and satisfying relationship with my King.
When I take inventory of my life over the last 22 years I am thankful and I am satisfied.
I think this article that this young woman wrote was sad. It wasn't a list of things she's thrilled to have accomplished, or that she is thankful for. It's a list of emptiness. Standing naked in front of a window and making out with a stranger are not things you will look back on and remember with happiness. They are not life-altering, profound moments that will make you search your soul. They will not make you a better, more well rounded person. They will make you empty. They will make your soul yearn for something greater. They will not be memories of happiness, but regretted mistakes.
As sad as this post was, I realized something...this girl wasn't all wrong. There are things you should do before getting married. Being married young, at 23, isn't for everyone. Heck, some people won't meet the person they'll marry until they're much older than 23. But, I think that there is a list of things to do, for your entire life, so you are ready, totally and completely, to walk down the aisle at whatever age God calls you to. I believe age is irrelevant.
Here is my list of things to do before you get married...
- Know who God is. This starts at childhood, if you're lucky. Before you are prepared to walk down the aisle you need to know God. God is love. I know, you probably heard that a million times. But, say it out loud. God is love. The very definition of God is love and we cannot love ourselves or another person until we know what love is.
-Define love. Once you know that God is love, and you know what God's love looks like then you need to define love. For you, what does mimicking God's love look like. Here's an example- my definition of love is willing the total good for the soul of another. What's yours?
-Know who you are. I don't mean have a vague idea. I mean really know. Know God, and ask Him to show you who you are, ask Him to reveal to you who He created you to be. This is a life journey. You will constantly be discovering who you are. But, know who you are, right now, in this moment.
These things will take you more time than going to the Philippines for the Chinese New Year. For some people forming these things begins in early childhood. For others, discovering who God is won't even begin until they're 25. It's individual. It's not for you to decide what the standard is for what we should and should not do when we're 23... Life's too short to define it with silly things. Get your soul to Heaven...get the soul of each person you love to Heaven. Don't worry about the rest.
I am so afraid young women around the world will read that blog post and they will look at their lives and be unsatisfied. Define your life by precious moments, not by how rebellious you've been or how many boys you've kissed.
God bless you!
Emily xo
Thursday, August 22, 2013
A Legacy of Faith
On Saturday August 10th my Aunt & Uncle welcomed their first little baby into the world. It was an exciting day for my family, and we cannot wait to meet sweet, little Maria.
She is being baptized at their Parish, about 2 hours from here, on Sunday afternoon. We are anxiously awaiting the day she will be welcomed into the loving home of the Catholic Church, and they day we will all get to lay eyes on her for the first time.
I wanted to take a moment, not only to welcome little Maria into the world, and into the Catholic Church (on Sunday), but to touch on the beautiful gift of new life...and large families. I wrote 2 articles, here & here, back in June about the gift of large families, and the criticism they often face. Today, I want to explain to you about my family.
Both of my parents are one of eight children. My Mom is one of the older ones in her family, and my Dad one of the younger in his. Mom's family is with whom I spent/spend most of my time. I am close with them in proximity (for the most part) and in relationship.
My grandparent, Mom's parents, have one of the most beautiful relationships I have ever seen. When I was in high school we had a fire at our home, and my entire family stayed at my grandparent's house for a few weeks before Christmas. It was then, when I was living under their roof, that I truly got to see their relationship in action. They are so genuinely kind to one another, all the time. But, more then that, they have a faith that has withstood many, many trials and temptations. They still pray together, every single day. That is what has made their relationship so incredibly strong, and what created the pillar that their wonderful family is built on.
This November my grandparents will be married for 50 years...in that time the have purchased and built up an extremely successful family dairy farm. They have raised a house full of wonderful, solid children who love and respect them. They have experienced death, and the lose of close family. They walked their daughters down the aisle, one at a time. They watched as their sons found beautiful wives, and promised to love them forever. The saw their family "go forth and multiple" {Gen.9:7} as their first grandchild (me) was born 21 years ago. They have experienced sorrow as they tore down the house they raised their family in, for safety reasons. They have watched in vain as the farm they worked so hard to create, was reduced to a flaming pile of rubble. They began from scratch, rebuilding a farm and a legacy of hard work & dedication. They stood by and supported their children as difficult decisions were made. They stood by at endless baptisms, First Communions, Confirmations, graduations and sporting events, as they watched their children, and then grandchildren grow. And, this September they will welcome their 33 grand child into the world.
In 50 years they have supported, raised, loved, forgave, taught, nursed, cared for, and prayed for, not only one another, but for 8 children, 8 children-in-law, & 33 grandchildren. God willing, they will still be here to see their great grandchildren as well. I would love for my children to one day have the honour of knowing them.
I think my grandparents are too humble to know the legacy they are leaving behind on this Earth. Because of them, their love, generosity, kindness & faith will long outlive them.
Thank you, Nanna & Poppa, for this wonderful gift. I love you!
Emily xo
She is being baptized at their Parish, about 2 hours from here, on Sunday afternoon. We are anxiously awaiting the day she will be welcomed into the loving home of the Catholic Church, and they day we will all get to lay eyes on her for the first time.
I wanted to take a moment, not only to welcome little Maria into the world, and into the Catholic Church (on Sunday), but to touch on the beautiful gift of new life...and large families. I wrote 2 articles, here & here, back in June about the gift of large families, and the criticism they often face. Today, I want to explain to you about my family.
Both of my parents are one of eight children. My Mom is one of the older ones in her family, and my Dad one of the younger in his. Mom's family is with whom I spent/spend most of my time. I am close with them in proximity (for the most part) and in relationship.
My grandparent, Mom's parents, have one of the most beautiful relationships I have ever seen. When I was in high school we had a fire at our home, and my entire family stayed at my grandparent's house for a few weeks before Christmas. It was then, when I was living under their roof, that I truly got to see their relationship in action. They are so genuinely kind to one another, all the time. But, more then that, they have a faith that has withstood many, many trials and temptations. They still pray together, every single day. That is what has made their relationship so incredibly strong, and what created the pillar that their wonderful family is built on.
This November my grandparents will be married for 50 years...in that time the have purchased and built up an extremely successful family dairy farm. They have raised a house full of wonderful, solid children who love and respect them. They have experienced death, and the lose of close family. They walked their daughters down the aisle, one at a time. They watched as their sons found beautiful wives, and promised to love them forever. The saw their family "go forth and multiple" {Gen.9:7} as their first grandchild (me) was born 21 years ago. They have experienced sorrow as they tore down the house they raised their family in, for safety reasons. They have watched in vain as the farm they worked so hard to create, was reduced to a flaming pile of rubble. They began from scratch, rebuilding a farm and a legacy of hard work & dedication. They stood by and supported their children as difficult decisions were made. They stood by at endless baptisms, First Communions, Confirmations, graduations and sporting events, as they watched their children, and then grandchildren grow. And, this September they will welcome their 33 grand child into the world.
In 50 years they have supported, raised, loved, forgave, taught, nursed, cared for, and prayed for, not only one another, but for 8 children, 8 children-in-law, & 33 grandchildren. God willing, they will still be here to see their great grandchildren as well. I would love for my children to one day have the honour of knowing them.
I think my grandparents are too humble to know the legacy they are leaving behind on this Earth. Because of them, their love, generosity, kindness & faith will long outlive them.
Thank you, Nanna & Poppa, for this wonderful gift. I love you!
Emily xo
Thursday, July 25, 2013
A {Bank-Breaking} Wedding
A couple I know got married last Saturday. I don't know them well, but what I do know is that they were loving in a home they had been living in together for a while before the got married. I believe that that is wrong, but I am not writing this post in a condemnation in any way...more of just a baffling perspective of what their day must have been like last Saturday.
When I dream of the day I will get married it is not so much the actually wedding day that excites me. It is the sacrament that we receive that seals us as a couple, and 'two become one' {Mark 10:8}. I am also waiting in anticipation of the life that will begin once we are married...I will be able to kiss my love goodnight before I close my eyes, and cuddle up next to them. I will awake the the sight of the person I love most in the world, and spend my days with them. I will serve my husband and he will guide me. And, the love we will share will be new and totally different then the love we shared when we were dating or engaged.
Two things struck me about how the perspective and anticipation of a wedding day are drastically altered when you are already living together.
1. How is your wedding night any different then any other night you have already spent together?
I suppose it really isn't. Not without really trying, anyway. I always imagined my wedding night would be spent in the home we will share...Obviously, depending on the situation that may not be the case. Distance, or honeymoon travel might have us staying in a hotel.
But, if you'd already been living together then the idea of going to your home would be far from exciting. You have to stay somewhere else that night in order to make it special and memorable, and to not risk falling into your regular nightly routine.
Which brings us to number 2...
No wonder weddings are so expensive now!! If you have already been living together then chances are you have already travelled many places, just the two of you. It also means you have more then likely invited people to your home or hosted parties, as a couple.
Since you have already had parties then you feel a pressure to make your wedding day extraordinary. You feel you need to make this event stand out for you & for your guests, and that often means it needs to be extravagant...and usually that means expensive.
Maybe this is just me, and my simple taste. But, for my honeymoon, where we go is irrelevant. Of course I would like it to be some place we can both enjoy, but if it meant we could spend a few days or a week alone together some place an hour from home I would be happy. But once again, if you have been living together, and travelling together for quite some time before you were married then there is a certain pressure to once again have an extraordinary honeymoon, to some place special and exotic and expensive.
Anyway, let me know what you think...these seem like a reasonable explanation to me.
God bless you,
Emily xo
When I dream of the day I will get married it is not so much the actually wedding day that excites me. It is the sacrament that we receive that seals us as a couple, and 'two become one' {Mark 10:8}. I am also waiting in anticipation of the life that will begin once we are married...I will be able to kiss my love goodnight before I close my eyes, and cuddle up next to them. I will awake the the sight of the person I love most in the world, and spend my days with them. I will serve my husband and he will guide me. And, the love we will share will be new and totally different then the love we shared when we were dating or engaged.
Two things struck me about how the perspective and anticipation of a wedding day are drastically altered when you are already living together.
1. How is your wedding night any different then any other night you have already spent together?
I suppose it really isn't. Not without really trying, anyway. I always imagined my wedding night would be spent in the home we will share...Obviously, depending on the situation that may not be the case. Distance, or honeymoon travel might have us staying in a hotel.
But, if you'd already been living together then the idea of going to your home would be far from exciting. You have to stay somewhere else that night in order to make it special and memorable, and to not risk falling into your regular nightly routine.
Which brings us to number 2...
No wonder weddings are so expensive now!! If you have already been living together then chances are you have already travelled many places, just the two of you. It also means you have more then likely invited people to your home or hosted parties, as a couple.
Since you have already had parties then you feel a pressure to make your wedding day extraordinary. You feel you need to make this event stand out for you & for your guests, and that often means it needs to be extravagant...and usually that means expensive.
Maybe this is just me, and my simple taste. But, for my honeymoon, where we go is irrelevant. Of course I would like it to be some place we can both enjoy, but if it meant we could spend a few days or a week alone together some place an hour from home I would be happy. But once again, if you have been living together, and travelling together for quite some time before you were married then there is a certain pressure to once again have an extraordinary honeymoon, to some place special and exotic and expensive.
Anyway, let me know what you think...these seem like a reasonable explanation to me.
God bless you,
Emily xo
Monday, July 15, 2013
Top 11 Pins-Weddings
Today I wanted to share with you my top eleven favourite weeding and engagement related pins. You can see my Pinterest page for more!
11.
11.
I like the cake/cupcake idea. When I get married there will be a lot of people, and a lot of children attending. Having cupcakes is fun and easy!
10.
These centrepieces are lovely and easy..and also could be very affordable! And, they are most definitely my style!
9.
Thank you to the person who made this list. I know I will be eternally grateful one day!
8.
I think this is a nice idea for the groom and his fellas.
7.
10 Things to do the week of your wedding...I am also thankful for this list!!
6.
I want navy dresses for my bridesmaids when I get married...in honour of Mary. I think this one is cute and simple!
5.
I think these dresses and boots are too cute...and I like the photo.
4.
It's the little things..I like the pins at the bottom of the bouquet, to just finish it off. I also want to have a white rosary intertwined into my bouquet.
3.
God will be the centre of our marriage, so I like the idea of having the rings carried on our Bible.
2.
Not only is this a beautiful photo, but it is a beautiful moment. I want not only my bridesmaids to pray with me before I walk down the aisle, but also my family.
1.
I want a beautiful moment like this. I don't want my husband-to-be to see me before walking down the aisle, but I need to pray with him.
Happy dreaming of your wedding!
Emily xo
Saturday, June 15, 2013
Large Family Don't Care-Part 2
As promised, here is part two.
This post will focus on the benefits of a large family, and why they are important, not only to the members of the family, but to society as a whole.
1. Being part of a large family never allows for boredom. There is always something to be done. And, if you do have a moment of down time then there are things you truly want to do...like read a good book, watch a show, write a letter, surf the internet. And, you really enjoy whatever you are doing during that downtime.
2. I am never lonely. There is always someone to talk to or hang out with. And, on the very rare occasion there isn't then you embrace the peacefulness of the moment!
3. Someone always has your back. Just last week my sister told me that our brother stood up to a young man that said some very rude things to her. He has her back. It's like having built in body guards.
4. Outfit opportunities are endless. Boys may not appreciate this, but girls sure do! When you have sisters who are close to your size you can share clothes and shoes and it's great!
5. You have a built in, brutally honest opinion panel. Siblings don't tend to sugar coat things. If you want to know how an outfits looks and get a 100% honest answer, ask the 10 year old boy.
6. It is fabulous relationship discernment. When I began dating my boyfriend I wanted someone who would not only love me, but my family. Someone who understood dating with purpose (meaning, discernment of marriage) and who was good with children. A man who was faithful and not afraid to pray. Having a large family allowed for me to see how wonderful he is with children, and how he was not afraid to pray the rosary with my family after dinner when he was over.
7. Large families help you learn about life. Having the 'talk' isn't nearly as bad when you can look around and see the product of it (meaning children). It helps you be better able to embrace the fact that sex is a beautiful thing and nothing to be ashamed of. And, it helps you understand why it belongs only within a marriage.
Bonding and babies people! Bonding and Babies!
8. You have built in friends who cannot abandon you, even if they want to! Muhahahha! Seriously though, I remember going through losing friends and growing apart from friends. It is hard and it stinks. But, knowing I had my sisters at home who would never do that to me was a huge source of comfort.
9. You learn and understand about the opposite sex. Having brothers is fantastic. Because, I am able to understand how their minds work, how to best relate to them, and what they enjoy. This is something I can apply in every aspect of my life when I encounter males in the workplace, school, etc.
10. I never have to question love. I know what love is because I see it active and alive in my parents and siblings. I know what a marriage is supposed to look like, and I know how to love those around me, even when I hate them.
This is the greatest gift.
Go have yourself some big families!!
-Emily xox
This post will focus on the benefits of a large family, and why they are important, not only to the members of the family, but to society as a whole.
1. Being part of a large family never allows for boredom. There is always something to be done. And, if you do have a moment of down time then there are things you truly want to do...like read a good book, watch a show, write a letter, surf the internet. And, you really enjoy whatever you are doing during that downtime.
2. I am never lonely. There is always someone to talk to or hang out with. And, on the very rare occasion there isn't then you embrace the peacefulness of the moment!
3. Someone always has your back. Just last week my sister told me that our brother stood up to a young man that said some very rude things to her. He has her back. It's like having built in body guards.
4. Outfit opportunities are endless. Boys may not appreciate this, but girls sure do! When you have sisters who are close to your size you can share clothes and shoes and it's great!
5. You have a built in, brutally honest opinion panel. Siblings don't tend to sugar coat things. If you want to know how an outfits looks and get a 100% honest answer, ask the 10 year old boy.
6. It is fabulous relationship discernment. When I began dating my boyfriend I wanted someone who would not only love me, but my family. Someone who understood dating with purpose (meaning, discernment of marriage) and who was good with children. A man who was faithful and not afraid to pray. Having a large family allowed for me to see how wonderful he is with children, and how he was not afraid to pray the rosary with my family after dinner when he was over.
7. Large families help you learn about life. Having the 'talk' isn't nearly as bad when you can look around and see the product of it (meaning children). It helps you be better able to embrace the fact that sex is a beautiful thing and nothing to be ashamed of. And, it helps you understand why it belongs only within a marriage.
Bonding and babies people! Bonding and Babies!
8. You have built in friends who cannot abandon you, even if they want to! Muhahahha! Seriously though, I remember going through losing friends and growing apart from friends. It is hard and it stinks. But, knowing I had my sisters at home who would never do that to me was a huge source of comfort.
9. You learn and understand about the opposite sex. Having brothers is fantastic. Because, I am able to understand how their minds work, how to best relate to them, and what they enjoy. This is something I can apply in every aspect of my life when I encounter males in the workplace, school, etc.
10. I never have to question love. I know what love is because I see it active and alive in my parents and siblings. I know what a marriage is supposed to look like, and I know how to love those around me, even when I hate them.
This is the greatest gift.
Go have yourself some big families!!
-Emily xox
Friday, May 31, 2013
A History of the Walls
A few weeks ago a house burnt down. It was late at night and my sister woke me to show me the orange flames that lit up the black sky. Panic is my first instinct. But, we soon learned it was an abandoned house, and the entire thing burnt to the ground that night.
I am thankful the house was abandoned and that no one lost their home that night, and that no one was hurt. But, it was kind of sad at the same time. Because, at one point that was someone's home.
I love old things...I know this sounds silly, but I do. I love elderly people and find them fascinating to speak to. I love to listen to their stories, even when their memory fails them. I love how the look at me with eyes that have been clouded with passing time. I love how the call me dear and hold my hand while I talk to them. I love the wrinkles that are on their face and on their hands because it means they have lived a life that may have not been easy, but was worth it.
I love antique things. I love the history that is told in every scratch and scrape along a tabletop. I love the imperfections in the make of an old chair that means it was made at home, with hours of labour. I love the way antique stores smell and the people who own them. I love that if the furniture could speak they could tell me stories of babies being born, or children with a hurt knee and the Momma who kissed it better. They could tell me of the smell of the kitchen while bread was baking and about the hands of the farmer who guided the plough.
I love old houses. We have a lot of these where I live. Big, old farm houses that are stunning. I love how these houses were made to withstand the tests of time. I love how the floors are crooked, and the stairs are steep. I love how the windows make the world look like you are looking through a fun house mirror, and how the pains rattle when there is a storm. And, I love the stories the walls could tell if they could speak.
Imagine...
Think of all the memories you have with your own family. Imagine what the walls could tell you about everything they have seen in the last 200 years, and of the families who were raised there. They could tell you about the people who walked through the doorway and about the laughter that filled the home. The could tell you about the support the offered when men and woman leaned against them as they gave way to sorrowful tears. They could tell me about babies that were rocked to sleep and that grew up into handsome young men. They could tell me about young ladies dressing in an upstairs bedroom in a beautiful wedding gown. And about how all the crops died one year, and there wasn't enough food on the table. They could tell me stories of love, sorrow and joy; of family, friendship and romance; of laughter, tears and hiccups. Wouldn't that be neat??
I love the memories, stories and history that is held within an elderly person or an old home. It is a beautiful legacy of life and death and one that should be treasured.
-Emily xo
I am thankful the house was abandoned and that no one lost their home that night, and that no one was hurt. But, it was kind of sad at the same time. Because, at one point that was someone's home.
I love old things...I know this sounds silly, but I do. I love elderly people and find them fascinating to speak to. I love to listen to their stories, even when their memory fails them. I love how the look at me with eyes that have been clouded with passing time. I love how the call me dear and hold my hand while I talk to them. I love the wrinkles that are on their face and on their hands because it means they have lived a life that may have not been easy, but was worth it.
I love antique things. I love the history that is told in every scratch and scrape along a tabletop. I love the imperfections in the make of an old chair that means it was made at home, with hours of labour. I love the way antique stores smell and the people who own them. I love that if the furniture could speak they could tell me stories of babies being born, or children with a hurt knee and the Momma who kissed it better. They could tell me of the smell of the kitchen while bread was baking and about the hands of the farmer who guided the plough.
I love old houses. We have a lot of these where I live. Big, old farm houses that are stunning. I love how these houses were made to withstand the tests of time. I love how the floors are crooked, and the stairs are steep. I love how the windows make the world look like you are looking through a fun house mirror, and how the pains rattle when there is a storm. And, I love the stories the walls could tell if they could speak.
Imagine...
Think of all the memories you have with your own family. Imagine what the walls could tell you about everything they have seen in the last 200 years, and of the families who were raised there. They could tell you about the people who walked through the doorway and about the laughter that filled the home. The could tell you about the support the offered when men and woman leaned against them as they gave way to sorrowful tears. They could tell me about babies that were rocked to sleep and that grew up into handsome young men. They could tell me about young ladies dressing in an upstairs bedroom in a beautiful wedding gown. And about how all the crops died one year, and there wasn't enough food on the table. They could tell me stories of love, sorrow and joy; of family, friendship and romance; of laughter, tears and hiccups. Wouldn't that be neat??
I love the memories, stories and history that is held within an elderly person or an old home. It is a beautiful legacy of life and death and one that should be treasured.
-Emily xo
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Sex Before Marriage: Why or Why Not?
This is a touchy subject, I am well aware of that. But, it is also one that I feel is worthy of discussion. This isn't so much about having sex before marriage as it is about when sex has a place and when it doesn't.
Society often portrays the start of a relationship as when you first have sex.We see that in movies all the time. It is after the couple has sex that they become serious and exclusive. I believe that is so wrong, but I also believe that it is societyies way of trying to make right of something that is morally wrong.
Often times Christians will say how terrible it is that society places so little value in sex, and that young men and women often have so many partners before settling down. I agree with that. However, I think that, although there are tons and tons of one night stands, often times serious and exclusive relationships only begin once two people have had sex. That is because their innermost being is calling out in that moment, and they feel a need for the commitment that accompanies that act. Subconsciously, they realize the error in their ways and are striving to make it right by making some sort of commitment to that person, even if it is only for a couple of days, a month or a year.We are trying to make right of something we know, intrinsicly, is wrong.
This is the truth. Yes, that is deep and profound, so get ready!
Marriage is always before sex. Marriage is the commitment of forever. It is promising your entire self to someone for as long as you live. Til death do us part. Sex is like a binding agent. It is like glue. It solidifies something that is already strong, and it deepens the bond between two people. That is why it is so incredibly heart breaking when it is done outside of a commitment as serious as marriage.
Sex is absolutely beautiful.
It is a wonderful gift that we need to treasure. There is nothing dirty or sinful or evil about sex. That comes when sex (like any gift) is used incorrectly. It should be something we defend and guard, for our sake as much as for the person we will one day marry (whom the gift was originally intended for). The bond that is sex cannot be separated from the act. You cannot have sex without a deep, irreplaceable bond, and you cannot have that same bond without having sex.
That last part is where people so often get lost and confused. Our very beings, right to our core, desire sex. That is a good thing. But a thing to be mastered. I am not married, but I am in a relationship, and have been for over 4 years. I love him with every fibre of my being, and I would be lying if I told you that I didn't want the bond with him that comes with sex. However, I am also aware that there is the slightest possibility God will call me to something different before we get married (this could happen even after you are engaged!!), so I don't want to form that bond, only to have it ripped from me. Break ups are heartbreaking enough without adding the tearing of an everlasting bond created during sex.
People often so badly want to solidify their relationship, and feel that deep bond with the one they love that they decide sex is the only way for that. And they are right, sex is the only way for that, but not right now. There is a time and a place for everything, and I promise you that the time for sex is when you are married.
There are phases in every relationship, and if you have ever dated anyone for any length of time you know what I mean. There is a honeymoon type phase in the early days, where everything is butterflies. Eventually that passes, and you may notice things that bother you about the other person and you'll have your first couple fight. Sometimes that is the breaking part for couples. But, if you get through that then you know there will be a time for strengthening and deepening of the relationship as you get to know this person more and more. As each phase passes and another comes along (this happens throughout your whole life, I just touched on a couple) you see your relationship change, flourish, grow, deepen and strengthen. Sometimes, somewhere in there you are called apart, and sometimes you are challenged to go further. In all of it there is a purpose. All of this is part of the journey of falling in love with a person. Once you've made the decision to marry this person, the growth does not stop at the engagement ring. Often times the engagement is the most temptation filled, and trying time (up to this point) in your relationship, and so you must persevere through that as well. Eventually, when you marry this person, that is when you are ready to make a commitment that is everlasting, and that is the place for sex.
To have sex before this point would mess up the natural progress of your relationship and add undo stress, pressure and confusion. Sex is a joining of the body, mind and soul, and belongs only after the sacrament of marriage has been received! That is when it is able to be experienced in it's full glory. Then, and only then.
I encourage all of you to wait. I cannot tell you from experience, but I can tell you from truth...It will be worth it!
Many prayers,
Emily xo
St. Maria Goretti, pray for us!
Society often portrays the start of a relationship as when you first have sex.We see that in movies all the time. It is after the couple has sex that they become serious and exclusive. I believe that is so wrong, but I also believe that it is societyies way of trying to make right of something that is morally wrong.
Often times Christians will say how terrible it is that society places so little value in sex, and that young men and women often have so many partners before settling down. I agree with that. However, I think that, although there are tons and tons of one night stands, often times serious and exclusive relationships only begin once two people have had sex. That is because their innermost being is calling out in that moment, and they feel a need for the commitment that accompanies that act. Subconsciously, they realize the error in their ways and are striving to make it right by making some sort of commitment to that person, even if it is only for a couple of days, a month or a year.We are trying to make right of something we know, intrinsicly, is wrong.
This is the truth. Yes, that is deep and profound, so get ready!
Marriage is always before sex. Marriage is the commitment of forever. It is promising your entire self to someone for as long as you live. Til death do us part. Sex is like a binding agent. It is like glue. It solidifies something that is already strong, and it deepens the bond between two people. That is why it is so incredibly heart breaking when it is done outside of a commitment as serious as marriage.
Sex is absolutely beautiful.
It is a wonderful gift that we need to treasure. There is nothing dirty or sinful or evil about sex. That comes when sex (like any gift) is used incorrectly. It should be something we defend and guard, for our sake as much as for the person we will one day marry (whom the gift was originally intended for). The bond that is sex cannot be separated from the act. You cannot have sex without a deep, irreplaceable bond, and you cannot have that same bond without having sex.
That last part is where people so often get lost and confused. Our very beings, right to our core, desire sex. That is a good thing. But a thing to be mastered. I am not married, but I am in a relationship, and have been for over 4 years. I love him with every fibre of my being, and I would be lying if I told you that I didn't want the bond with him that comes with sex. However, I am also aware that there is the slightest possibility God will call me to something different before we get married (this could happen even after you are engaged!!), so I don't want to form that bond, only to have it ripped from me. Break ups are heartbreaking enough without adding the tearing of an everlasting bond created during sex.
People often so badly want to solidify their relationship, and feel that deep bond with the one they love that they decide sex is the only way for that. And they are right, sex is the only way for that, but not right now. There is a time and a place for everything, and I promise you that the time for sex is when you are married.
There are phases in every relationship, and if you have ever dated anyone for any length of time you know what I mean. There is a honeymoon type phase in the early days, where everything is butterflies. Eventually that passes, and you may notice things that bother you about the other person and you'll have your first couple fight. Sometimes that is the breaking part for couples. But, if you get through that then you know there will be a time for strengthening and deepening of the relationship as you get to know this person more and more. As each phase passes and another comes along (this happens throughout your whole life, I just touched on a couple) you see your relationship change, flourish, grow, deepen and strengthen. Sometimes, somewhere in there you are called apart, and sometimes you are challenged to go further. In all of it there is a purpose. All of this is part of the journey of falling in love with a person. Once you've made the decision to marry this person, the growth does not stop at the engagement ring. Often times the engagement is the most temptation filled, and trying time (up to this point) in your relationship, and so you must persevere through that as well. Eventually, when you marry this person, that is when you are ready to make a commitment that is everlasting, and that is the place for sex.
To have sex before this point would mess up the natural progress of your relationship and add undo stress, pressure and confusion. Sex is a joining of the body, mind and soul, and belongs only after the sacrament of marriage has been received! That is when it is able to be experienced in it's full glory. Then, and only then.
I encourage all of you to wait. I cannot tell you from experience, but I can tell you from truth...It will be worth it!
Many prayers,
Emily xo
St. Maria Goretti, pray for us!
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Why I Refuse 'Tolerance'
Merriam-Webster Definition of:
Tol-er-ance noun
2 a: sympathy or indulgence for belief or practices differing from or conflicting with one's own
b: the act of allowing something
Examples of tolerance
-a tolerance for other lifestyles
We live in a world where the only virtue we are permitted to teach our children is tolerance. And, not tolerance as in the above definition of the word, but tolerance as in accepting and not judging the lifestyles, beliefs, opinions and decisions of anyone else. Our society thinks that tolerance means we will live in a peaceful world, where no one bothers anyone else, under the banner of, "whatever works for them is fine, but I choose (fill in lifestyle or belief here)."
That is not what tolerance is. Tolerance is acknowledging that what someone is doing is in fact wrong and putting up with it to avoid further conflict. We do not tolerate things we love or things we approve of...like puppies, or nice days or children. We tolerate things we object to, like an obnoxious co-worker or a head ache or an annoying student. Tolerating those things does not mean we do not deal with them, it just means we put up with them. It does not mean we don't expect more from those people, and we encourage them to act in the way they are. We choose to address it in a respectful and tactful manner.
So, this is why I am objecting to tolerance. I refuse to 'tolerate' (societies meaning of the word) gay marriage, pre-marital or extra-marital sex, and thousands of other morally incorrect things. Today, I want to specifically speak about Gay 'Marriage' and why I refuse tolerance.
About a year or so ago I posted something on my Facebook page about the traditional and right marriage. That is, marriage between one man and one woman only. The feedback I received was appalling And, keep in mind, this feedback is coming from people I have personal relationships with-family and friends. I could not believe how aggressive people got. One young woman I went to school with even went as far as to say that if I expressed these views publicly in society then I should be prepared for violence and even death. WHAT? Are you kidding me? I should be afraid of someone killing me because I believe in marriage?
But, that's what our world has come to. See, these people (most of whom are Catholic, by the way) who so adamantly agreed that I was being intolerant, disrespectful and judgemental honestly wished death on me. They didn't care what I believe and know to be true, or why I believe it. All they saw was that I was not living up to societies standard of being tolerant of other's lives, no matter what how they live or the decisions they make.
We don't have to accept the things that other people do that are wrong. We don't have to pretend that it is okay with us and that we don't care. We don't accept that a child got beat up on the playground because that is wrong. As Catholics, we believe gay marriage doesn't even exist. It is not a marriage or union of any kind, and if a gay couple choose to live out their lives as such, then it is a sin. Plain and simple. We are not inflicting our beliefs on society by believing that, and we are not at all being intolerant. What we are doing is speaking truth.
I am not saying we need to go about condemning gay couples. Of course we can't do that, because that to is a sin. However, we cannot go about pretending that their lifestyle is fine because it works for them. That too is a sin. Sin impacts the whole of society, even if we cannot see the surface of it. And, our goal, as Catholics, is to be evangelists by our mere existence and we are not doing that by stooping to societies lie that, 'if it works for you, it's okay with me.'
We need to love gay couples, and show them Christ in that love. We need to care for them and teach them and lead them. We need to not pass judgement, nor encourage them and we definitely don't need to 'tolerate' the way they live! We just need to love them, despite their flaws, sins and imperfections. Love like Jesus loves, because, in reality, we have sins as deep as theirs that just may not be as obvious to the whole world.
I could go on and on about this. But, I challenge all of you to protect marriage in it's true & purest form. Never, ever settle or accept anything less. You are not being judgemental or cruel and you most certainly aren't wrong. Be totally, 100% convicted in what you believe, and share that by how you live out your life. Do not be ashamed for refusing to accept what society thinks in correct, and always speak truth.
Always keep in mind what John 15:18-25 says,
"If the world hates you, just remember that it has hated me first. If you belonged to the world, then the world would love you as its own. But I chose you from this world, and you do not belong to it; that is why the world hates you. Rememeber what I told you: 'Slaves are not greater than their master.' If people persecuted me, they will persecute you too; if they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours too. But they will do all this to you because you are mine; for they do not know the one who sent me. They would not have been guilty of sin id I had not come and spoken to them, as it is, they no longer have an excuse for their sin. Whoever hates me hates my Father also. They would not have been guilty of sin if I had not done amounf then the things that no one else ever did, as it is, they have seen what I did, and they hate both me and my Father. This, however, was bound to happen so that what is written in their Law may come true, 'They hated me for no reason at all.'"
Blessings,
Emily xo
Tol-er-ance noun
2 a: sympathy or indulgence for belief or practices differing from or conflicting with one's own
b: the act of allowing something
Examples of tolerance
-a tolerance for other lifestyles
We live in a world where the only virtue we are permitted to teach our children is tolerance. And, not tolerance as in the above definition of the word, but tolerance as in accepting and not judging the lifestyles, beliefs, opinions and decisions of anyone else. Our society thinks that tolerance means we will live in a peaceful world, where no one bothers anyone else, under the banner of, "whatever works for them is fine, but I choose (fill in lifestyle or belief here)."
That is not what tolerance is. Tolerance is acknowledging that what someone is doing is in fact wrong and putting up with it to avoid further conflict. We do not tolerate things we love or things we approve of...like puppies, or nice days or children. We tolerate things we object to, like an obnoxious co-worker or a head ache or an annoying student. Tolerating those things does not mean we do not deal with them, it just means we put up with them. It does not mean we don't expect more from those people, and we encourage them to act in the way they are. We choose to address it in a respectful and tactful manner.
So, this is why I am objecting to tolerance. I refuse to 'tolerate' (societies meaning of the word) gay marriage, pre-marital or extra-marital sex, and thousands of other morally incorrect things. Today, I want to specifically speak about Gay 'Marriage' and why I refuse tolerance.
About a year or so ago I posted something on my Facebook page about the traditional and right marriage. That is, marriage between one man and one woman only. The feedback I received was appalling And, keep in mind, this feedback is coming from people I have personal relationships with-family and friends. I could not believe how aggressive people got. One young woman I went to school with even went as far as to say that if I expressed these views publicly in society then I should be prepared for violence and even death. WHAT? Are you kidding me? I should be afraid of someone killing me because I believe in marriage?
But, that's what our world has come to. See, these people (most of whom are Catholic, by the way) who so adamantly agreed that I was being intolerant, disrespectful and judgemental honestly wished death on me. They didn't care what I believe and know to be true, or why I believe it. All they saw was that I was not living up to societies standard of being tolerant of other's lives, no matter what how they live or the decisions they make.
We don't have to accept the things that other people do that are wrong. We don't have to pretend that it is okay with us and that we don't care. We don't accept that a child got beat up on the playground because that is wrong. As Catholics, we believe gay marriage doesn't even exist. It is not a marriage or union of any kind, and if a gay couple choose to live out their lives as such, then it is a sin. Plain and simple. We are not inflicting our beliefs on society by believing that, and we are not at all being intolerant. What we are doing is speaking truth.
I am not saying we need to go about condemning gay couples. Of course we can't do that, because that to is a sin. However, we cannot go about pretending that their lifestyle is fine because it works for them. That too is a sin. Sin impacts the whole of society, even if we cannot see the surface of it. And, our goal, as Catholics, is to be evangelists by our mere existence and we are not doing that by stooping to societies lie that, 'if it works for you, it's okay with me.'
We need to love gay couples, and show them Christ in that love. We need to care for them and teach them and lead them. We need to not pass judgement, nor encourage them and we definitely don't need to 'tolerate' the way they live! We just need to love them, despite their flaws, sins and imperfections. Love like Jesus loves, because, in reality, we have sins as deep as theirs that just may not be as obvious to the whole world.
I could go on and on about this. But, I challenge all of you to protect marriage in it's true & purest form. Never, ever settle or accept anything less. You are not being judgemental or cruel and you most certainly aren't wrong. Be totally, 100% convicted in what you believe, and share that by how you live out your life. Do not be ashamed for refusing to accept what society thinks in correct, and always speak truth.
Always keep in mind what John 15:18-25 says,
"If the world hates you, just remember that it has hated me first. If you belonged to the world, then the world would love you as its own. But I chose you from this world, and you do not belong to it; that is why the world hates you. Rememeber what I told you: 'Slaves are not greater than their master.' If people persecuted me, they will persecute you too; if they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours too. But they will do all this to you because you are mine; for they do not know the one who sent me. They would not have been guilty of sin id I had not come and spoken to them, as it is, they no longer have an excuse for their sin. Whoever hates me hates my Father also. They would not have been guilty of sin if I had not done amounf then the things that no one else ever did, as it is, they have seen what I did, and they hate both me and my Father. This, however, was bound to happen so that what is written in their Law may come true, 'They hated me for no reason at all.'"
Blessings,
Emily xo
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)