I have this printed off and posted by my desk in my room. It is getting me through school, as I prepare for the end of my first semester, and for my first clinical placement!
I hope it can help you also.
Emily xo
Showing posts with label Commitment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Commitment. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Pray More
I have this printed off and posted by my desk in my room. It is getting me through school, as I prepare for the end of my first semester, and for my first clinical placement!
I hope it can help you also.
Emily xo
Thursday, August 22, 2013
A Legacy of Faith
On Saturday August 10th my Aunt & Uncle welcomed their first little baby into the world. It was an exciting day for my family, and we cannot wait to meet sweet, little Maria.
She is being baptized at their Parish, about 2 hours from here, on Sunday afternoon. We are anxiously awaiting the day she will be welcomed into the loving home of the Catholic Church, and they day we will all get to lay eyes on her for the first time.
I wanted to take a moment, not only to welcome little Maria into the world, and into the Catholic Church (on Sunday), but to touch on the beautiful gift of new life...and large families. I wrote 2 articles, here & here, back in June about the gift of large families, and the criticism they often face. Today, I want to explain to you about my family.
Both of my parents are one of eight children. My Mom is one of the older ones in her family, and my Dad one of the younger in his. Mom's family is with whom I spent/spend most of my time. I am close with them in proximity (for the most part) and in relationship.
My grandparent, Mom's parents, have one of the most beautiful relationships I have ever seen. When I was in high school we had a fire at our home, and my entire family stayed at my grandparent's house for a few weeks before Christmas. It was then, when I was living under their roof, that I truly got to see their relationship in action. They are so genuinely kind to one another, all the time. But, more then that, they have a faith that has withstood many, many trials and temptations. They still pray together, every single day. That is what has made their relationship so incredibly strong, and what created the pillar that their wonderful family is built on.
This November my grandparents will be married for 50 years...in that time the have purchased and built up an extremely successful family dairy farm. They have raised a house full of wonderful, solid children who love and respect them. They have experienced death, and the lose of close family. They walked their daughters down the aisle, one at a time. They watched as their sons found beautiful wives, and promised to love them forever. The saw their family "go forth and multiple" {Gen.9:7} as their first grandchild (me) was born 21 years ago. They have experienced sorrow as they tore down the house they raised their family in, for safety reasons. They have watched in vain as the farm they worked so hard to create, was reduced to a flaming pile of rubble. They began from scratch, rebuilding a farm and a legacy of hard work & dedication. They stood by and supported their children as difficult decisions were made. They stood by at endless baptisms, First Communions, Confirmations, graduations and sporting events, as they watched their children, and then grandchildren grow. And, this September they will welcome their 33 grand child into the world.
In 50 years they have supported, raised, loved, forgave, taught, nursed, cared for, and prayed for, not only one another, but for 8 children, 8 children-in-law, & 33 grandchildren. God willing, they will still be here to see their great grandchildren as well. I would love for my children to one day have the honour of knowing them.
I think my grandparents are too humble to know the legacy they are leaving behind on this Earth. Because of them, their love, generosity, kindness & faith will long outlive them.
Thank you, Nanna & Poppa, for this wonderful gift. I love you!
Emily xo
She is being baptized at their Parish, about 2 hours from here, on Sunday afternoon. We are anxiously awaiting the day she will be welcomed into the loving home of the Catholic Church, and they day we will all get to lay eyes on her for the first time.
I wanted to take a moment, not only to welcome little Maria into the world, and into the Catholic Church (on Sunday), but to touch on the beautiful gift of new life...and large families. I wrote 2 articles, here & here, back in June about the gift of large families, and the criticism they often face. Today, I want to explain to you about my family.
Both of my parents are one of eight children. My Mom is one of the older ones in her family, and my Dad one of the younger in his. Mom's family is with whom I spent/spend most of my time. I am close with them in proximity (for the most part) and in relationship.
My grandparent, Mom's parents, have one of the most beautiful relationships I have ever seen. When I was in high school we had a fire at our home, and my entire family stayed at my grandparent's house for a few weeks before Christmas. It was then, when I was living under their roof, that I truly got to see their relationship in action. They are so genuinely kind to one another, all the time. But, more then that, they have a faith that has withstood many, many trials and temptations. They still pray together, every single day. That is what has made their relationship so incredibly strong, and what created the pillar that their wonderful family is built on.
This November my grandparents will be married for 50 years...in that time the have purchased and built up an extremely successful family dairy farm. They have raised a house full of wonderful, solid children who love and respect them. They have experienced death, and the lose of close family. They walked their daughters down the aisle, one at a time. They watched as their sons found beautiful wives, and promised to love them forever. The saw their family "go forth and multiple" {Gen.9:7} as their first grandchild (me) was born 21 years ago. They have experienced sorrow as they tore down the house they raised their family in, for safety reasons. They have watched in vain as the farm they worked so hard to create, was reduced to a flaming pile of rubble. They began from scratch, rebuilding a farm and a legacy of hard work & dedication. They stood by and supported their children as difficult decisions were made. They stood by at endless baptisms, First Communions, Confirmations, graduations and sporting events, as they watched their children, and then grandchildren grow. And, this September they will welcome their 33 grand child into the world.
In 50 years they have supported, raised, loved, forgave, taught, nursed, cared for, and prayed for, not only one another, but for 8 children, 8 children-in-law, & 33 grandchildren. God willing, they will still be here to see their great grandchildren as well. I would love for my children to one day have the honour of knowing them.
I think my grandparents are too humble to know the legacy they are leaving behind on this Earth. Because of them, their love, generosity, kindness & faith will long outlive them.
Thank you, Nanna & Poppa, for this wonderful gift. I love you!
Emily xo
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Quote of the Day-Better than Who You are Today
Because at the end of the day, and at the end of time, this is the only things that matters.
Emily xo
Monday, June 17, 2013
So Long, Facebook
I deleted my Facebook account. Yup. A few weeks ago.
Annnnd...literally within minutes people asked me where I had gone, as if my not having Facebook was the equivalent of me actually dying. Sigh. Social media. Anyway, I wanted to talk a little bit about why I deleted my Facebook, because if truth be told, I love Facebook. I am nosy. I will just go ahead and admit that.
This is not the first time I have deactivated my account. In fact, when I served my year on NET one of the things they requested is that we not have Facebook. That whole year my account was down, and I missed it and activated it as soon as I got home. Can you say addict?
I have also deactivated it for Lent, two different years I think. Which was so hard and a huge sacrifice for me. And, I also deactivated it once like a year ago. That was when, as I mentioned in a previous post, I spoke out about gay marriage and everyone went absolutely nuts on Facebook. That deactivation was so I would quit getting notifications for a bit. I was literally getting about 25 a minute of people responding (negatively) to what I had posted. That time it was just maybe for a day.
There are two main reasons I deleted Facebook this time. One is nosiness and jealousy and two is self-control.
Let's talk jealousy for a moment, shall we? As I said, I am nosy. I like to know what everyone else is doing, and what their life is like. Facebook is literally perfect for this. Nosiness is not something I like about myself, but for the most part is seemed harmless. I told myself I was just keeping up with my friends and what not, but that was a lie. What I was really doing was hurting my heart, soul and relationships.
I would see posts on Facebook about my friend's lives and I would long for that. People post only things they want people to know about on Facebook. That is the reality. People's lives aren't actually how they are portrayed on Facebook. But, when I saw posts of friend's massive homes, or their 'perfect' boyfriend who brings them flowers everyday, or of their fairytale weddings that they can afford when they are 20 or their trip to Europe where they were on a beach in a bikini without a single fat role, I was comparing myself and my life.
I convinced myself I wasn't jealous exactly and that I was just admiring. But that was a lie too. I was comparing everything and I hated myself and my life because it didn't seem as glamorous or perfect as my family and friends.
One night I was lying on my bed feeling sorry for myself. I was literally at the point where I despised the way I looked, was angry at my boyfriend because we can't afford the wedding we feel we need to have right now. I was so pissed off at myself and at God because I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life and I felt I had to have a career. Of course there were and are other factors in the way I was feeling, but when I really thought about it a lot of it stemmed from one thing. Facebook. I marched myself down the stairs to the computer and promptly deactivated my account. I immediately regretted it, but held firm in my decision, telling myself I just need to see how it went.
It felt totally liberating. I am not saying I hate Facebook, or that the way I responded to it will be the same for everyone. I am just telling you that it was what I needed right then. Someday I may have Facebook again, because it really is good for keeping in touch. But, I need to grow a little before I can do that, and I need to find confidence in me and my life. I need to be at peace.
The second reason kind of ties into the last part of the first. Self-control. About 2 months ago I quit eating sugar. Partly to be more healthy, but mostly because it as an exercise in self-control and I needed to know that I could do it. So, getting rid of Facebook is kind of the same thing for me. It is just knowing that I can get rid of it and live without it. That, in and of itself, is so liberating!
I truly believe that if we can discipline ourselves in the small things it makes saying 'no' to the bigger things easier. We increase our self-control in all things when we start with the baby steps. That is what deleting Facebook was for me, a baby step.
I stumbled across this blog post after I deleted Facebook. It's neat take on quitting Facebook also, so check it out.
So long, Facebook!
-Emily xo
Annnnd...literally within minutes people asked me where I had gone, as if my not having Facebook was the equivalent of me actually dying. Sigh. Social media. Anyway, I wanted to talk a little bit about why I deleted my Facebook, because if truth be told, I love Facebook. I am nosy. I will just go ahead and admit that.
This is not the first time I have deactivated my account. In fact, when I served my year on NET one of the things they requested is that we not have Facebook. That whole year my account was down, and I missed it and activated it as soon as I got home. Can you say addict?
I have also deactivated it for Lent, two different years I think. Which was so hard and a huge sacrifice for me. And, I also deactivated it once like a year ago. That was when, as I mentioned in a previous post, I spoke out about gay marriage and everyone went absolutely nuts on Facebook. That deactivation was so I would quit getting notifications for a bit. I was literally getting about 25 a minute of people responding (negatively) to what I had posted. That time it was just maybe for a day.
There are two main reasons I deleted Facebook this time. One is nosiness and jealousy and two is self-control.
Let's talk jealousy for a moment, shall we? As I said, I am nosy. I like to know what everyone else is doing, and what their life is like. Facebook is literally perfect for this. Nosiness is not something I like about myself, but for the most part is seemed harmless. I told myself I was just keeping up with my friends and what not, but that was a lie. What I was really doing was hurting my heart, soul and relationships.
I would see posts on Facebook about my friend's lives and I would long for that. People post only things they want people to know about on Facebook. That is the reality. People's lives aren't actually how they are portrayed on Facebook. But, when I saw posts of friend's massive homes, or their 'perfect' boyfriend who brings them flowers everyday, or of their fairytale weddings that they can afford when they are 20 or their trip to Europe where they were on a beach in a bikini without a single fat role, I was comparing myself and my life.
I convinced myself I wasn't jealous exactly and that I was just admiring. But that was a lie too. I was comparing everything and I hated myself and my life because it didn't seem as glamorous or perfect as my family and friends.
One night I was lying on my bed feeling sorry for myself. I was literally at the point where I despised the way I looked, was angry at my boyfriend because we can't afford the wedding we feel we need to have right now. I was so pissed off at myself and at God because I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life and I felt I had to have a career. Of course there were and are other factors in the way I was feeling, but when I really thought about it a lot of it stemmed from one thing. Facebook. I marched myself down the stairs to the computer and promptly deactivated my account. I immediately regretted it, but held firm in my decision, telling myself I just need to see how it went.
It felt totally liberating. I am not saying I hate Facebook, or that the way I responded to it will be the same for everyone. I am just telling you that it was what I needed right then. Someday I may have Facebook again, because it really is good for keeping in touch. But, I need to grow a little before I can do that, and I need to find confidence in me and my life. I need to be at peace.
The second reason kind of ties into the last part of the first. Self-control. About 2 months ago I quit eating sugar. Partly to be more healthy, but mostly because it as an exercise in self-control and I needed to know that I could do it. So, getting rid of Facebook is kind of the same thing for me. It is just knowing that I can get rid of it and live without it. That, in and of itself, is so liberating!
I truly believe that if we can discipline ourselves in the small things it makes saying 'no' to the bigger things easier. We increase our self-control in all things when we start with the baby steps. That is what deleting Facebook was for me, a baby step.
I stumbled across this blog post after I deleted Facebook. It's neat take on quitting Facebook also, so check it out.
So long, Facebook!
-Emily xo
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Proms and Birthday at the Troutman House
In the last week my seventeen year old brother attended his senior prom, and my little sister celebrated her sweet sixteen.
I am feeling very old.
It's funny how time passes so quickly, and we forget to even notice. It seems like not long ago that my brother began kindergarten, and refused to draw a person, as the teacher requested. He drew a tiger. He's always had a mind of his own.
It seems like not many years ago we used to play 'motorcycles' by driving our bikes around the yard, and play British Bulldog on the lawn. He was often reduced to tears at the sound of my parent's calling us in at dusk for bedtime. And, not so long ago his dreams of a future included being a hockey player priest like Father Eve (a family friend).
It is crazy to me that he attended his senior prom in a sharp looking suit, and stood next to his date, in her stunning gown. I cannot believe he now towers over me, and can play volleyball better then anyone I know. It wasn't so long ago that he needed me to lift him up to reach something on the counter, or needed my help with something nearly every day.
I love my brother dearly, but time has passed far to quickly in our relationship. I am deathly afraid that I haven't made the most of every moment we have had together, and that one day he may not hold dear to the memories we could have had together.
As for my sister's sweet sixteen...I still remember finding her at the bottom of the stairs, where she'd emptied the entire contents of a cereal box. I can still picture her in the baby seat on the back of my Mom's bicycle when we went on long (or at least they seemed long) bike rides. I remember her and my brother having a rooster farm, and saving the mice we found in our chicken coop. She's always been a little tom boy...but she isn't any more. She is a gorgeous young lady. Gorgeous. I am so blessed to know her, and to call her my sister!
I hope I can treasure every moment I have with her so that we don't loose even one potential memory. I know I have failed in the past, and let moments pass by without really taking note. But, this is my commitment...not only in these relationships, but with every relationship: to always, always be truly present, and be constantly making memories.
Time passes far to fast, and we never know when it will pass us by. We need to make the most of every breath.
Here's to making memories! Many blessings,
Emily xo
I am feeling very old.
It's funny how time passes so quickly, and we forget to even notice. It seems like not long ago that my brother began kindergarten, and refused to draw a person, as the teacher requested. He drew a tiger. He's always had a mind of his own.
It seems like not many years ago we used to play 'motorcycles' by driving our bikes around the yard, and play British Bulldog on the lawn. He was often reduced to tears at the sound of my parent's calling us in at dusk for bedtime. And, not so long ago his dreams of a future included being a hockey player priest like Father Eve (a family friend).
It is crazy to me that he attended his senior prom in a sharp looking suit, and stood next to his date, in her stunning gown. I cannot believe he now towers over me, and can play volleyball better then anyone I know. It wasn't so long ago that he needed me to lift him up to reach something on the counter, or needed my help with something nearly every day.
I love my brother dearly, but time has passed far to quickly in our relationship. I am deathly afraid that I haven't made the most of every moment we have had together, and that one day he may not hold dear to the memories we could have had together.
As for my sister's sweet sixteen...I still remember finding her at the bottom of the stairs, where she'd emptied the entire contents of a cereal box. I can still picture her in the baby seat on the back of my Mom's bicycle when we went on long (or at least they seemed long) bike rides. I remember her and my brother having a rooster farm, and saving the mice we found in our chicken coop. She's always been a little tom boy...but she isn't any more. She is a gorgeous young lady. Gorgeous. I am so blessed to know her, and to call her my sister!
I hope I can treasure every moment I have with her so that we don't loose even one potential memory. I know I have failed in the past, and let moments pass by without really taking note. But, this is my commitment...not only in these relationships, but with every relationship: to always, always be truly present, and be constantly making memories.
Time passes far to fast, and we never know when it will pass us by. We need to make the most of every breath.
Here's to making memories! Many blessings,
Emily xo
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
A Crappy Girlfriend? Sigh...
I am not going to lie...I am usually a fairly crappy girlfriend. I love my boyfriend more then I can tell you (or him), and I love that he loves me. I treasure our relationship, and pray that if this is God's will, I will have him forever and we will have our happily ever after.
Buuuuttt...I suck at loving him. I know how he feels the most loved, and I know the things he enjoys and what makes him happy. But, I seem to never ever do any of them, or let him do what he enjoys. Thank heavens he loves me despite all that!
I decided to make a list, mostly for myself, of ten ways I can better love my boyfriend. Keep in mind, these are ways to love him and keep our relationship pure, holy and Christ-centred. Maybe they'll help you too.
1. Pray for him and with him. Often and Always.
This will keep both of us centred on the most important things in life, and we will find a love that is extraordinary when we start doing this.
2. Let him be affectionate.
I do not receive or give love through physical touch of any kind. Hand holding, snuggling, etc. usually drives me crazy. I mean, sometimes I am okay with it, and other times I can tolerate it, but a lot of times it makes me cringe. But, I recognize that that is how he feels loved and shows me he loves me, so sometimes I need to be a bit affectionate and allow him to be affectionate towards me.
3. Make him food.
They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. They are not lying. It's true. I love baking and cooking, but I rarely make the time to make him a meal or bake for him. I know he loves when I do, so I need to try to make this a priority.
4. Treasure and value him. Hang onto his every word.
I know that he likes when I take the time to sit there and actually listen to what he says. Sometimes, when he is talking about work (he's an electrician) or other guy type things I totally zone out. I find it hard to listen intently when I don't fully understand what he is talking about.
I have realized though, that is doesn't matter if I understand what he's talking about or not. I just need to sit there and listen to him and ask questions. He is taking the time to tell me, so it is important to him and I need to respect that.
5. Do what he enjoys and don't complain.
There are things that my boyfriend enjoys that I have had a really difficult time warming up to. He loves to hunt. I was (and still kind of am) terrified of guns. It is mostly about the loud noise they make. It has taken me a very long time to take even the slightest interest in hunting. But, you know what, I actually kind of enjoy it now. It has been the same with fishing. But I know he loves that I can enjoy these things and that he knows he has a companion in me. That has made it worth every second.
6. Let things go.
I can be very grouchy. Thank heavens he's a patient man! I have a tendency to bring up old issues when I get grouchy. This is sooooo bad! I need to let things go and accept that he is not perfect (but he's darn close). He is allowed to mess up and hurt my feelings by accident once in awhile, and I need to learn to take care of the situation as it happens and forgive and move on.
7. Stop comparing him.
I am a sucker for Romantic Comedies. I love me a good, sappy love story. But, I have to limit myself because the men in those stories are not real and I cannot be comparing my relationship to those. That is so unfair!
8. Ask and value his opinion. About everything.
This is something I think I am getting better at. I need to let him know that I trust our relationship is in his hands and that I trust him to make good decisions for us. I am not saying I cannot have a mind of my own, but he deserves to be asked when there is a decision to be made. Not only that, but his opinion deserves serious consideration. Don't just ask for the sake of asking.
9. Surprise him.
He has told me that he loves when I surprise him. Not with big things or a party, but just if I stop by unexpectedly. I need to remember that he is important, and I can make time in my schedule to stop by his work with breakfast or just for the sake of saying hello.
10. Really date him.
I need to date my boyfriend. He is not to be taken for granted, and I need to remember that. I need to always be fully present when I am with him, and really, really date him!
I hope these maybe help you in your relationships! And, let's all pray that we can treasure the relationships in our lives!
Many blessings,
Emily xo
Buuuuttt...I suck at loving him. I know how he feels the most loved, and I know the things he enjoys and what makes him happy. But, I seem to never ever do any of them, or let him do what he enjoys. Thank heavens he loves me despite all that!
I decided to make a list, mostly for myself, of ten ways I can better love my boyfriend. Keep in mind, these are ways to love him and keep our relationship pure, holy and Christ-centred. Maybe they'll help you too.
1. Pray for him and with him. Often and Always.
This will keep both of us centred on the most important things in life, and we will find a love that is extraordinary when we start doing this.
2. Let him be affectionate.
I do not receive or give love through physical touch of any kind. Hand holding, snuggling, etc. usually drives me crazy. I mean, sometimes I am okay with it, and other times I can tolerate it, but a lot of times it makes me cringe. But, I recognize that that is how he feels loved and shows me he loves me, so sometimes I need to be a bit affectionate and allow him to be affectionate towards me.
3. Make him food.
They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. They are not lying. It's true. I love baking and cooking, but I rarely make the time to make him a meal or bake for him. I know he loves when I do, so I need to try to make this a priority.
4. Treasure and value him. Hang onto his every word.
I know that he likes when I take the time to sit there and actually listen to what he says. Sometimes, when he is talking about work (he's an electrician) or other guy type things I totally zone out. I find it hard to listen intently when I don't fully understand what he is talking about.
I have realized though, that is doesn't matter if I understand what he's talking about or not. I just need to sit there and listen to him and ask questions. He is taking the time to tell me, so it is important to him and I need to respect that.
5. Do what he enjoys and don't complain.
There are things that my boyfriend enjoys that I have had a really difficult time warming up to. He loves to hunt. I was (and still kind of am) terrified of guns. It is mostly about the loud noise they make. It has taken me a very long time to take even the slightest interest in hunting. But, you know what, I actually kind of enjoy it now. It has been the same with fishing. But I know he loves that I can enjoy these things and that he knows he has a companion in me. That has made it worth every second.
6. Let things go.
I can be very grouchy. Thank heavens he's a patient man! I have a tendency to bring up old issues when I get grouchy. This is sooooo bad! I need to let things go and accept that he is not perfect (but he's darn close). He is allowed to mess up and hurt my feelings by accident once in awhile, and I need to learn to take care of the situation as it happens and forgive and move on.
7. Stop comparing him.
I am a sucker for Romantic Comedies. I love me a good, sappy love story. But, I have to limit myself because the men in those stories are not real and I cannot be comparing my relationship to those. That is so unfair!
8. Ask and value his opinion. About everything.
This is something I think I am getting better at. I need to let him know that I trust our relationship is in his hands and that I trust him to make good decisions for us. I am not saying I cannot have a mind of my own, but he deserves to be asked when there is a decision to be made. Not only that, but his opinion deserves serious consideration. Don't just ask for the sake of asking.
9. Surprise him.
He has told me that he loves when I surprise him. Not with big things or a party, but just if I stop by unexpectedly. I need to remember that he is important, and I can make time in my schedule to stop by his work with breakfast or just for the sake of saying hello.
10. Really date him.
I need to date my boyfriend. He is not to be taken for granted, and I need to remember that. I need to always be fully present when I am with him, and really, really date him!
I hope these maybe help you in your relationships! And, let's all pray that we can treasure the relationships in our lives!
Many blessings,
Emily xo
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Sex Before Marriage: Why or Why Not?
This is a touchy subject, I am well aware of that. But, it is also one that I feel is worthy of discussion. This isn't so much about having sex before marriage as it is about when sex has a place and when it doesn't.
Society often portrays the start of a relationship as when you first have sex.We see that in movies all the time. It is after the couple has sex that they become serious and exclusive. I believe that is so wrong, but I also believe that it is societyies way of trying to make right of something that is morally wrong.
Often times Christians will say how terrible it is that society places so little value in sex, and that young men and women often have so many partners before settling down. I agree with that. However, I think that, although there are tons and tons of one night stands, often times serious and exclusive relationships only begin once two people have had sex. That is because their innermost being is calling out in that moment, and they feel a need for the commitment that accompanies that act. Subconsciously, they realize the error in their ways and are striving to make it right by making some sort of commitment to that person, even if it is only for a couple of days, a month or a year.We are trying to make right of something we know, intrinsicly, is wrong.
This is the truth. Yes, that is deep and profound, so get ready!
Marriage is always before sex. Marriage is the commitment of forever. It is promising your entire self to someone for as long as you live. Til death do us part. Sex is like a binding agent. It is like glue. It solidifies something that is already strong, and it deepens the bond between two people. That is why it is so incredibly heart breaking when it is done outside of a commitment as serious as marriage.
Sex is absolutely beautiful.
It is a wonderful gift that we need to treasure. There is nothing dirty or sinful or evil about sex. That comes when sex (like any gift) is used incorrectly. It should be something we defend and guard, for our sake as much as for the person we will one day marry (whom the gift was originally intended for). The bond that is sex cannot be separated from the act. You cannot have sex without a deep, irreplaceable bond, and you cannot have that same bond without having sex.
That last part is where people so often get lost and confused. Our very beings, right to our core, desire sex. That is a good thing. But a thing to be mastered. I am not married, but I am in a relationship, and have been for over 4 years. I love him with every fibre of my being, and I would be lying if I told you that I didn't want the bond with him that comes with sex. However, I am also aware that there is the slightest possibility God will call me to something different before we get married (this could happen even after you are engaged!!), so I don't want to form that bond, only to have it ripped from me. Break ups are heartbreaking enough without adding the tearing of an everlasting bond created during sex.
People often so badly want to solidify their relationship, and feel that deep bond with the one they love that they decide sex is the only way for that. And they are right, sex is the only way for that, but not right now. There is a time and a place for everything, and I promise you that the time for sex is when you are married.
There are phases in every relationship, and if you have ever dated anyone for any length of time you know what I mean. There is a honeymoon type phase in the early days, where everything is butterflies. Eventually that passes, and you may notice things that bother you about the other person and you'll have your first couple fight. Sometimes that is the breaking part for couples. But, if you get through that then you know there will be a time for strengthening and deepening of the relationship as you get to know this person more and more. As each phase passes and another comes along (this happens throughout your whole life, I just touched on a couple) you see your relationship change, flourish, grow, deepen and strengthen. Sometimes, somewhere in there you are called apart, and sometimes you are challenged to go further. In all of it there is a purpose. All of this is part of the journey of falling in love with a person. Once you've made the decision to marry this person, the growth does not stop at the engagement ring. Often times the engagement is the most temptation filled, and trying time (up to this point) in your relationship, and so you must persevere through that as well. Eventually, when you marry this person, that is when you are ready to make a commitment that is everlasting, and that is the place for sex.
To have sex before this point would mess up the natural progress of your relationship and add undo stress, pressure and confusion. Sex is a joining of the body, mind and soul, and belongs only after the sacrament of marriage has been received! That is when it is able to be experienced in it's full glory. Then, and only then.
I encourage all of you to wait. I cannot tell you from experience, but I can tell you from truth...It will be worth it!
Many prayers,
Emily xo
St. Maria Goretti, pray for us!
Society often portrays the start of a relationship as when you first have sex.We see that in movies all the time. It is after the couple has sex that they become serious and exclusive. I believe that is so wrong, but I also believe that it is societyies way of trying to make right of something that is morally wrong.
Often times Christians will say how terrible it is that society places so little value in sex, and that young men and women often have so many partners before settling down. I agree with that. However, I think that, although there are tons and tons of one night stands, often times serious and exclusive relationships only begin once two people have had sex. That is because their innermost being is calling out in that moment, and they feel a need for the commitment that accompanies that act. Subconsciously, they realize the error in their ways and are striving to make it right by making some sort of commitment to that person, even if it is only for a couple of days, a month or a year.We are trying to make right of something we know, intrinsicly, is wrong.
This is the truth. Yes, that is deep and profound, so get ready!
Marriage is always before sex. Marriage is the commitment of forever. It is promising your entire self to someone for as long as you live. Til death do us part. Sex is like a binding agent. It is like glue. It solidifies something that is already strong, and it deepens the bond between two people. That is why it is so incredibly heart breaking when it is done outside of a commitment as serious as marriage.
Sex is absolutely beautiful.
It is a wonderful gift that we need to treasure. There is nothing dirty or sinful or evil about sex. That comes when sex (like any gift) is used incorrectly. It should be something we defend and guard, for our sake as much as for the person we will one day marry (whom the gift was originally intended for). The bond that is sex cannot be separated from the act. You cannot have sex without a deep, irreplaceable bond, and you cannot have that same bond without having sex.
That last part is where people so often get lost and confused. Our very beings, right to our core, desire sex. That is a good thing. But a thing to be mastered. I am not married, but I am in a relationship, and have been for over 4 years. I love him with every fibre of my being, and I would be lying if I told you that I didn't want the bond with him that comes with sex. However, I am also aware that there is the slightest possibility God will call me to something different before we get married (this could happen even after you are engaged!!), so I don't want to form that bond, only to have it ripped from me. Break ups are heartbreaking enough without adding the tearing of an everlasting bond created during sex.
People often so badly want to solidify their relationship, and feel that deep bond with the one they love that they decide sex is the only way for that. And they are right, sex is the only way for that, but not right now. There is a time and a place for everything, and I promise you that the time for sex is when you are married.
There are phases in every relationship, and if you have ever dated anyone for any length of time you know what I mean. There is a honeymoon type phase in the early days, where everything is butterflies. Eventually that passes, and you may notice things that bother you about the other person and you'll have your first couple fight. Sometimes that is the breaking part for couples. But, if you get through that then you know there will be a time for strengthening and deepening of the relationship as you get to know this person more and more. As each phase passes and another comes along (this happens throughout your whole life, I just touched on a couple) you see your relationship change, flourish, grow, deepen and strengthen. Sometimes, somewhere in there you are called apart, and sometimes you are challenged to go further. In all of it there is a purpose. All of this is part of the journey of falling in love with a person. Once you've made the decision to marry this person, the growth does not stop at the engagement ring. Often times the engagement is the most temptation filled, and trying time (up to this point) in your relationship, and so you must persevere through that as well. Eventually, when you marry this person, that is when you are ready to make a commitment that is everlasting, and that is the place for sex.
To have sex before this point would mess up the natural progress of your relationship and add undo stress, pressure and confusion. Sex is a joining of the body, mind and soul, and belongs only after the sacrament of marriage has been received! That is when it is able to be experienced in it's full glory. Then, and only then.
I encourage all of you to wait. I cannot tell you from experience, but I can tell you from truth...It will be worth it!
Many prayers,
Emily xo
St. Maria Goretti, pray for us!
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Men of Courage
A few weeks ago I posted about the movie Courageous, and how wonderful it was. The thing I loved about the movie was that it encouraged men to be men, and to stand up for their families. It promoted Men of Courage and of good value, and Heaven knows we need more men like that!
When I attended the March for Life on May 9th, 2013 I saw a young man, probably in his late 20s, with a sign that broke my heart. I wish I had taken a photo of him, but I remember what his sign said. At the March, there were of course, pro-choice folks out who were protesting our protest. For the most part they were all gathered together in one area, behind a fence and police officers. There were topless woman tossing condoms into the street at us (yes, thank you pro-choicers, we would love to have condoms. I am not sure if you noticed, but we are actually protesting the use of them) and chanting, "Get your rosaries of our ovaries" (this deserves a whole other post, but I would just like to point out that this chant makes zero sense AND does not rhyme.)
Anyway, back to this young man. He was off by himself, and I actually saw him at a few different parts of the March. He was walking with us I guess, but protesting us at the same time. He was totally alone every time I saw him, and I actually felt very sorry for him. His sad sign read,
When I attended the March for Life on May 9th, 2013 I saw a young man, probably in his late 20s, with a sign that broke my heart. I wish I had taken a photo of him, but I remember what his sign said. At the March, there were of course, pro-choice folks out who were protesting our protest. For the most part they were all gathered together in one area, behind a fence and police officers. There were topless woman tossing condoms into the street at us (yes, thank you pro-choicers, we would love to have condoms. I am not sure if you noticed, but we are actually protesting the use of them) and chanting, "Get your rosaries of our ovaries" (this deserves a whole other post, but I would just like to point out that this chant makes zero sense AND does not rhyme.)
Anyway, back to this young man. He was off by himself, and I actually saw him at a few different parts of the March. He was walking with us I guess, but protesting us at the same time. He was totally alone every time I saw him, and I actually felt very sorry for him. His sad sign read,
"Men- Back off.
It's Her Body!"
I think it is easy for us, as pro-lifers, to look at him and judge him for being a coward. Which, I guess he is. But, in his mind he is doing a great thing. See, I imagine this is what he is thinking... that he is helping to free and liberate women for the awful, traditional men who would embrace their fatherhood, and have a say in what happens to the little life they helped create within a woman's body. But, here is the reality, women don't need men to say, "It's your body, so it's your choice. Do what you want." I think that women think that that is what they want because they are often scared and angry in the face of an unwanted pregnancy. But no woman wants the father of the baby she's carrying to not care what happens to her or their child. She wants a man to help her make a decision.
I am fully aware that a lot of times the decision they make together could still end in abortion, and that saddens me, of course. Because, men who have a say in what happens to their child still may not recognize the new life growing inside the woman as a new person, but rather as a blob of tissue. But this is a step in the right direction. At least men would be stepping up and, recognizing the little one as a new life will come.
We need men to care about life. We need men to have an opinion. Especially in this area! We need men to come aboard the pro-life movement, and recognize their fatherhood. It's cowardly to say it's the woman's decision! Did you not have a part in placing that new life there, sir? Yes, yes you did. So you get a say in what happens next (and I hope and pray that that say is one for life!). Our world needs men of courage to stand up for life, and help women instead of 'liberating' them.
Thank you, so, so much for every single man who defends life. You are doing a wonderful, beautiful thing. Thank you for acknowledging your role and your Fatherhood. You are a credit to your gender.
Please join me in praying for this young man...and for all other men who join him in this passive viewpoint of abortion and in their wrongly placed passion for women's rights.
God bless you,
-Emily xo
Monday, May 6, 2013
A New Mr. and Mrs.
On Saturday, May 4th, Troy and I attended a beautiful wedding ceremony for friends of mine. I could barely contain my joyful tears as I watched Sarah's father walk her, a stunningly beautiful bride, down the aisle of the lovely Church, as the musicians played a lively, gorgeous song. Beneath her veil, Sarah's face glowed. When they reached the end of the aisle her father lifted the long veil from her face, kissed her cheek and gave her away.
But, the most beautiful part was Tyler's face as he watched his bride walk down the aisle toward him. The love for her was so evident in his eyes and in his smile. It made my heart happy to witness the kind of beautiful love he had for her.
The rest of the ceremony was wonderful. The love Tyler and Sarah had for one another was so clear. And, even more clear was their love for God. They loved Him first, and loved one another because of Him. That is the greatest gift of all.
Congratulations Tyler and Sarah! My love and prayers are with you as you begin your new life together!
-Emily xoxo
Friday, May 3, 2013
I Do, Forever...
All I have ever wanted to be when I 'grew up' was a wife and a Mom. I wanted to get married to the handsomest man who loved me more deeply and passionately then I had ever been loved before. A man who would promise to love me and care for me until the end of time. I wanted to share my heart and my home with him, and I wanted him to be the caring, loving, perfectly imperfect father of my children.
And, I wanted to experience a growing stomach as a baby formed in my womb. I wanted to feel a little one move and kick. I wanted to know my body was housing a beautiful new life, and I would have the privilege to give birth to a little baby God had given my husband and I to raise and lead to Him.
When I thought about my future it was always may safe place, so to speak. The place where my simple dreams for a wonderful life lived. I believe that is the life God is calling me to, and looking forward to that life has always been a haven of sorts.
However, as I got older I realized society has a very negative idea of my dream life, and it's because of societies warped view on motherhood and family that I find myself full of anxiety about my future. I have been openly told that my boyfriend and I are too young to be in love, and if we get married it won't last because it's our first relationship. I have been told I need to go to school before I can get married, because otherwise I will not be able to afford an excessive life. I have been asked why I would want to have a house full of children. I have questioned on my sanity for believing marriage is forever, and in-disposable, and that sex before marriage is out of the question.
Society destroys family before it even has a chance to begin. I am privileged to have been raised in the home I was. My Mom had 9 children, and stayed at home to raise us. My father worked hard and was the spiritual leader of our home. We had more then what we needed. This background has given me the backbone I need to stand up to societies pressures and opinions. I am not saying they don't effect me, because of course they do. But, I am better able to preserve what I believe in because of my faith, and the guidance I was given growing up.
Some people are not as blessed as I am. I know young women who have come from broken homes, but so desire a future like I feel called to. Without faith, and without a solid family base, it is hard to stand up to society. It's a challenge to persevere in a good, family oriented life when society tells you otherwise, and when you are constantly looked down upon for having the opinions that they do.
As a society we need to work on readjusting this warped view of family and marriage. We need to promote sex within marriage, good, holy couples, lasting and committed marriages, child-rearing marriages and love. True love; not lust.
We need to heal the hurt in the world by starting at home. We need to begin within our own homes, and be an example to a starving, hurting world.
Pray with me for healing hearts!
Emily xo
And, I wanted to experience a growing stomach as a baby formed in my womb. I wanted to feel a little one move and kick. I wanted to know my body was housing a beautiful new life, and I would have the privilege to give birth to a little baby God had given my husband and I to raise and lead to Him.
When I thought about my future it was always may safe place, so to speak. The place where my simple dreams for a wonderful life lived. I believe that is the life God is calling me to, and looking forward to that life has always been a haven of sorts.
However, as I got older I realized society has a very negative idea of my dream life, and it's because of societies warped view on motherhood and family that I find myself full of anxiety about my future. I have been openly told that my boyfriend and I are too young to be in love, and if we get married it won't last because it's our first relationship. I have been told I need to go to school before I can get married, because otherwise I will not be able to afford an excessive life. I have been asked why I would want to have a house full of children. I have questioned on my sanity for believing marriage is forever, and in-disposable, and that sex before marriage is out of the question.
Society destroys family before it even has a chance to begin. I am privileged to have been raised in the home I was. My Mom had 9 children, and stayed at home to raise us. My father worked hard and was the spiritual leader of our home. We had more then what we needed. This background has given me the backbone I need to stand up to societies pressures and opinions. I am not saying they don't effect me, because of course they do. But, I am better able to preserve what I believe in because of my faith, and the guidance I was given growing up.
Some people are not as blessed as I am. I know young women who have come from broken homes, but so desire a future like I feel called to. Without faith, and without a solid family base, it is hard to stand up to society. It's a challenge to persevere in a good, family oriented life when society tells you otherwise, and when you are constantly looked down upon for having the opinions that they do.
As a society we need to work on readjusting this warped view of family and marriage. We need to promote sex within marriage, good, holy couples, lasting and committed marriages, child-rearing marriages and love. True love; not lust.
We need to heal the hurt in the world by starting at home. We need to begin within our own homes, and be an example to a starving, hurting world.
Pray with me for healing hearts!
Emily xo
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Quote of the Day- Love your Love!
You and I are the best team of all.
You are my best friend and the love of my life, my heart, my soul, the one I want to be with each and every
day.
You are the one I want to cheer me on through life.
Your arms are the ones I want to comfort and support me.
I love how when you and I work together we can do anything.
-Karen Kostyla
Monday, April 22, 2013
Dear Boys
My younger sister is in high school & is boy crazy. I know that this is nothing profound. Most high school girls are boy crazy, and she is no exception. But, it's funny being six years older then she is & witnessing the boy-craziness with an outside perspective, and it is definitely igniting a fiery passion in me to protect her poor little heart.
High school wasn't all that long ago for me, and I don't think high school boys have changed that much. So I know what it's like, and I decided to write a letter to all the boys that will date my little sisters. Here goes...
Dear boys who will date my little sisters,
I am sure you're a nice boy. I am sure you have good, pure intentions (or at least you better). And, I am giving you the benefit of the doubt. But, that doesn't mean I won't give you a hard time. Don't take it personally, I am just being a big sister.
I know my sister in a way you will never have the privilege of knowing her. I have a bond with her that you will never separate, and at the end of the I will be here for her when you can't. When you hurt her feelings, or when she's angry with you, she will come to me, and if you break her heart, I will be here cleaning up the mess you walk away from. When she's trying up with a birthday gift to knock your socks off, I will be the one she calls. And when you first reach for her hand, I will be the one she tells.
No matter how old you are when you meet her, I knew her and loved her first. And, she will always be my baby sister. I fought with her first, hurt her feelings first, told her I loved her first, held her hand first. Before you knew how she felt about you, I knew. Before she first smiled at you, she smiled at me. And, before she met you, I held her when she cried. I told her stories late at night to make her smile and get her to sleep. I read her Franklin a hundred time. And before she is your girlfriend, she is my sister, and I will always protect her heart.
If she loves you, I love you. If she spends every second of every day talking about you, I talk about you too. I may never tell you, but you are important to me because you make her smile in a way I never can. She loves you in a love that makes her insides have butterflies and makes her heart happy. And I would never, ever wish that love away.
So, treat her like the princess she is. When she's angry, thank God for her passionate spirit. It's a family trait you'll never weed out of her. When she cries, hold her, wipe away the tears, and tell her you love her. When she's stressed out, bring her chocolate, and pray with her. When she tells you secrets, hold them close to your heart, and recognize the honour it is to know her heart that way, because not many do.
Pray with her and for her. She deserves a prince, and if you can rise to the occasion, pray for your own heart also. Pray for the strength to love her purely and innocently. Pray for guidance and discernment in your relationship. And, pray God will make you a man worthy of her heart.
I know that if you're dating her you already know how wonderful she is. How beautiful, how stunning, how faithful, how passionate, how caring and how sweet. As time passes you will learn her every fault, and every good point. Each day you will discover more and more about her. That is a blessing. Love everything good about her, but don't love her because of the good things. Love her because she is human, and because she messes up. And love her through absolutely everything.
If you have the honour of holding her heart, for this moment, for a season or for a lifetime, remember the gift God has given you, and treasure it. Remember to care for it and to always call it to growth, and to be better and better with each passing day. Challenge her. And never forget how you won her heart, because when all else fails, go back to that moment and remind her why she feel in love with you by your actions.
If this relationship is new, let me tell you a secret. If you want to win her heart, you have to win all of us...yes, all 10 of us. If you can get a place of honour in the hearts of our parents, of me, of our 4 brothers and our 3 other sisters, then you will get a greater place of honour in her heart. This is no easy task, but if you are right for her, you will accept this challenge, and work so hard for it because you know how worth it it will be.
And, just so you know, flowers and chocolate are always a good idea. Never listen to what she says...she really does want them. Unless she's on a diet. Then just go with the flowers. :)
Lastly, and most importantly, take her to Mass and love God wayyyy more then you love her. This is crucial to a good, holy relationship. You will be able to love her with a depth you've never known if you always put God first. And, you'll get some wonderful love in return. And, your relationship will be greater then either of you have ever dreamt.
I hope to get to know you better, and I hope for your sake that I like you. I'm just kidding...If she does, I will. But treat her right, okay? No need for a broken heart here. You know her fiery passion, and you don't want it aimed at you. Trust me. I have experience.
I am praying for you. Just know that, even if I give you a hard time, I am always praying. Because, at the end of the day, she's my little sister and I adore her, and I am trusting you with a piece of her heart.
Love,
Emily
High school wasn't all that long ago for me, and I don't think high school boys have changed that much. So I know what it's like, and I decided to write a letter to all the boys that will date my little sisters. Here goes...
Dear boys who will date my little sisters,
I am sure you're a nice boy. I am sure you have good, pure intentions (or at least you better). And, I am giving you the benefit of the doubt. But, that doesn't mean I won't give you a hard time. Don't take it personally, I am just being a big sister.
I know my sister in a way you will never have the privilege of knowing her. I have a bond with her that you will never separate, and at the end of the I will be here for her when you can't. When you hurt her feelings, or when she's angry with you, she will come to me, and if you break her heart, I will be here cleaning up the mess you walk away from. When she's trying up with a birthday gift to knock your socks off, I will be the one she calls. And when you first reach for her hand, I will be the one she tells.
No matter how old you are when you meet her, I knew her and loved her first. And, she will always be my baby sister. I fought with her first, hurt her feelings first, told her I loved her first, held her hand first. Before you knew how she felt about you, I knew. Before she first smiled at you, she smiled at me. And, before she met you, I held her when she cried. I told her stories late at night to make her smile and get her to sleep. I read her Franklin a hundred time. And before she is your girlfriend, she is my sister, and I will always protect her heart.
If she loves you, I love you. If she spends every second of every day talking about you, I talk about you too. I may never tell you, but you are important to me because you make her smile in a way I never can. She loves you in a love that makes her insides have butterflies and makes her heart happy. And I would never, ever wish that love away.
So, treat her like the princess she is. When she's angry, thank God for her passionate spirit. It's a family trait you'll never weed out of her. When she cries, hold her, wipe away the tears, and tell her you love her. When she's stressed out, bring her chocolate, and pray with her. When she tells you secrets, hold them close to your heart, and recognize the honour it is to know her heart that way, because not many do.
Pray with her and for her. She deserves a prince, and if you can rise to the occasion, pray for your own heart also. Pray for the strength to love her purely and innocently. Pray for guidance and discernment in your relationship. And, pray God will make you a man worthy of her heart.
I know that if you're dating her you already know how wonderful she is. How beautiful, how stunning, how faithful, how passionate, how caring and how sweet. As time passes you will learn her every fault, and every good point. Each day you will discover more and more about her. That is a blessing. Love everything good about her, but don't love her because of the good things. Love her because she is human, and because she messes up. And love her through absolutely everything.
If you have the honour of holding her heart, for this moment, for a season or for a lifetime, remember the gift God has given you, and treasure it. Remember to care for it and to always call it to growth, and to be better and better with each passing day. Challenge her. And never forget how you won her heart, because when all else fails, go back to that moment and remind her why she feel in love with you by your actions.
If this relationship is new, let me tell you a secret. If you want to win her heart, you have to win all of us...yes, all 10 of us. If you can get a place of honour in the hearts of our parents, of me, of our 4 brothers and our 3 other sisters, then you will get a greater place of honour in her heart. This is no easy task, but if you are right for her, you will accept this challenge, and work so hard for it because you know how worth it it will be.
And, just so you know, flowers and chocolate are always a good idea. Never listen to what she says...she really does want them. Unless she's on a diet. Then just go with the flowers. :)
Lastly, and most importantly, take her to Mass and love God wayyyy more then you love her. This is crucial to a good, holy relationship. You will be able to love her with a depth you've never known if you always put God first. And, you'll get some wonderful love in return. And, your relationship will be greater then either of you have ever dreamt.
I hope to get to know you better, and I hope for your sake that I like you. I'm just kidding...If she does, I will. But treat her right, okay? No need for a broken heart here. You know her fiery passion, and you don't want it aimed at you. Trust me. I have experience.
I am praying for you. Just know that, even if I give you a hard time, I am always praying. Because, at the end of the day, she's my little sister and I adore her, and I am trusting you with a piece of her heart.
Love,
Emily
"If you don't understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child."
-Linda Sunshine
Monday, April 15, 2013
'Honor Begins at Home' - 'Courageous' Marriages
The other night my family & I watched the movie Courageous. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it! This wasn't the first time I had seen it, but it had been awhile. Anyway, one of the lines of the movie really struck me, & I wanted to share it with you.
One of the men in this movie says something really simple, yet profound, when speaking to his friends & co-workers.
"People do not fight for their marriage any more...divorce happens because people make it an option."
I am not here to pass judgement on anyone, and I know that terrible things sometimes happen behind the doors of marriages. There are legitimate reasons for some divorces, or actually, annulments, if that's the case. But I am not getting into that today. Today I am just talking about the option of divorce.
I think the most important thing to remember is love is not a feeling. Sometimes we feel love, but not always. Sometimes your spouse will drive you crazy. Sometimes the things you loved about them when you first met turn into the things you cannot stand. But, that's what being in love is. It's dealing with the big and little things. And, I think that most people have the wrong idea when they enter a marriage.
They may feel in love. They may think, "I could spend the rest of my life with this person." But, in the back of their mind there is this subconscious voice of years of society influence saying, "But if you can't, that's okay too. If you stop feeling in love with them, you can get a divorce." I am not saying people enter into marriages casually because they know they have an easy out, but I am saying that that thought does cross their mind, and they may not even be aware of it. It's terrifying that society has that much power over us.
What needs to happen is, when people enter into a marriage, they agree it is worth fighting for. How did you win the other's heart in the first place? You fought for them. Probably not physically (but you never know), but you fought to win their love and affection, and once you had it you felt in love. If it's true love, it doesn't end because the feeling goes away. You still love them, you just may have to fight harder to see the fruits.
We cannot enter into marriage, knowing it's disposable if it doesn't go the way you planned. If that's the mindset we have, it is over before it began, because we never gave it a chance in the first place. We allow ourselves an easy escape when things get tough. And we have all heard that saying that 'anything worth having is worth fighting for.'
This is true in every area of our lives, and it is even more true in marriages!
Anyway, the quote speaks for itself, and I am sure you could have done without my ramblings, but it is something I feel passionately about! If you are married, keep this quote in your heart, and don't let anything remove it! And, if you are not married, treasure this quote, and keep it close because you may need it one day!
One of the men in this movie says something really simple, yet profound, when speaking to his friends & co-workers.
"People do not fight for their marriage any more...divorce happens because people make it an option."
I am not here to pass judgement on anyone, and I know that terrible things sometimes happen behind the doors of marriages. There are legitimate reasons for some divorces, or actually, annulments, if that's the case. But I am not getting into that today. Today I am just talking about the option of divorce.
I think the most important thing to remember is love is not a feeling. Sometimes we feel love, but not always. Sometimes your spouse will drive you crazy. Sometimes the things you loved about them when you first met turn into the things you cannot stand. But, that's what being in love is. It's dealing with the big and little things. And, I think that most people have the wrong idea when they enter a marriage.
They may feel in love. They may think, "I could spend the rest of my life with this person." But, in the back of their mind there is this subconscious voice of years of society influence saying, "But if you can't, that's okay too. If you stop feeling in love with them, you can get a divorce." I am not saying people enter into marriages casually because they know they have an easy out, but I am saying that that thought does cross their mind, and they may not even be aware of it. It's terrifying that society has that much power over us.
What needs to happen is, when people enter into a marriage, they agree it is worth fighting for. How did you win the other's heart in the first place? You fought for them. Probably not physically (but you never know), but you fought to win their love and affection, and once you had it you felt in love. If it's true love, it doesn't end because the feeling goes away. You still love them, you just may have to fight harder to see the fruits.
We cannot enter into marriage, knowing it's disposable if it doesn't go the way you planned. If that's the mindset we have, it is over before it began, because we never gave it a chance in the first place. We allow ourselves an easy escape when things get tough. And we have all heard that saying that 'anything worth having is worth fighting for.'
This is true in every area of our lives, and it is even more true in marriages!
Anyway, the quote speaks for itself, and I am sure you could have done without my ramblings, but it is something I feel passionately about! If you are married, keep this quote in your heart, and don't let anything remove it! And, if you are not married, treasure this quote, and keep it close because you may need it one day!
"People do not fight for their marriage any more...divorce happens because people make it an option."
Thursday, January 3, 2013
A Resolution to Commit
“Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert."- Isaiah 43: 18-19
I wanted to touch a little bit on starting fresh in the New Year. While listening to the local radio station yesterday I heard the morning show hosts discussing resolutions and the high percentage of people who break them within the first week. I am guilty of not only that, but also of not really making resolutions to begin with.
I think there are a few reasons for this. First, as a society we are terrified of commitment. You see this in the amount of common-law 'marriages' because people are afraid to "put a ring on it" and make a lasting covenant. We see this in the 50% divorce rate and the disposable view a lot of young people have about marriage. We see this in the increasing number of open dating relationships. We see this in families that fall apart after a fight over money in a will. We see this in the increasing lack of family time in a lot of households. We see this in the word 'maybe' that we toss around like a hot potatoe. We are terrified of making a commitment of our love, of our time, of ourselves. We don't want to be stuck with something in case some other, better option comes along. The grass is always greener, right?
We are afraid to commit to a resolution of improving ourselves because we don't want to be 'stuck' in case we find something better to do. Commitment is a lot of work, and we are scared of sacrificing ourselves.
Second, we make unrealistic, and, for lack of a better word, 'slack' resolutions. We say, " In 2013 I want to eat healthy." That is fabulous, and a great thing to strive for. But we often forget the how. I am not sure if this is the case for all of you, but for me it is a matter of lack of planning. It's as if the new year sneaks up on me and I panic and either make no resolutions or say, I am going to eat healthy, exercise more, be nice, etc. and I forget to come up with the how. The how is critical. We have to know what we are going to do to make those goals attainable.
For me, New Years resolutions have a deeper, spiritual meaning. It's kind of like Lent. In Lent we are preparing ourselves for Easter, and we are fasting and improving ourselves for the King. I think sometimes we forget that our entire lives are about preparing for the King. Every single second of every single day is about paving our path to Heaven. We don't automatically get in, we gotta work our buns off. So, the new year provides a time for me to reflect on my life and think of the areas in which I need to improve.
We need to be very self aware, and ask the Holy Spirit to enlighten us in how we need to improve for God. This is about improving ourselves for God, not for self-gratification. For example, we want to eat healthy to improve our life style so we have more energy and maybe live longer so we can more accurately fulfil what God has planned for our lives, and give Him glory through that, not just to loose weight and look hot (although, that is a bonus). We need to rid ourselves of the temptation for prideful motives in our resolutions.
It is not too late to make your resolutions for 2013. I suggest you sit down this evening and compose a list of the things in your life you want to improve, and then write next to it a detailed list of ways you plan on executing this. You don't have to tell anyone else your plans. This is between you and God, and is personal. However, if there are things you want to grow in as a household, a family or a couple, you could definitely do this together.
Happy 2013, again!
God bless you in this new stage of your life,
Em xo
I wanted to touch a little bit on starting fresh in the New Year. While listening to the local radio station yesterday I heard the morning show hosts discussing resolutions and the high percentage of people who break them within the first week. I am guilty of not only that, but also of not really making resolutions to begin with.
I think there are a few reasons for this. First, as a society we are terrified of commitment. You see this in the amount of common-law 'marriages' because people are afraid to "put a ring on it" and make a lasting covenant. We see this in the 50% divorce rate and the disposable view a lot of young people have about marriage. We see this in the increasing number of open dating relationships. We see this in families that fall apart after a fight over money in a will. We see this in the increasing lack of family time in a lot of households. We see this in the word 'maybe' that we toss around like a hot potatoe. We are terrified of making a commitment of our love, of our time, of ourselves. We don't want to be stuck with something in case some other, better option comes along. The grass is always greener, right?
We are afraid to commit to a resolution of improving ourselves because we don't want to be 'stuck' in case we find something better to do. Commitment is a lot of work, and we are scared of sacrificing ourselves.
Second, we make unrealistic, and, for lack of a better word, 'slack' resolutions. We say, " In 2013 I want to eat healthy." That is fabulous, and a great thing to strive for. But we often forget the how. I am not sure if this is the case for all of you, but for me it is a matter of lack of planning. It's as if the new year sneaks up on me and I panic and either make no resolutions or say, I am going to eat healthy, exercise more, be nice, etc. and I forget to come up with the how. The how is critical. We have to know what we are going to do to make those goals attainable.
For me, New Years resolutions have a deeper, spiritual meaning. It's kind of like Lent. In Lent we are preparing ourselves for Easter, and we are fasting and improving ourselves for the King. I think sometimes we forget that our entire lives are about preparing for the King. Every single second of every single day is about paving our path to Heaven. We don't automatically get in, we gotta work our buns off. So, the new year provides a time for me to reflect on my life and think of the areas in which I need to improve.
We need to be very self aware, and ask the Holy Spirit to enlighten us in how we need to improve for God. This is about improving ourselves for God, not for self-gratification. For example, we want to eat healthy to improve our life style so we have more energy and maybe live longer so we can more accurately fulfil what God has planned for our lives, and give Him glory through that, not just to loose weight and look hot (although, that is a bonus). We need to rid ourselves of the temptation for prideful motives in our resolutions.
It is not too late to make your resolutions for 2013. I suggest you sit down this evening and compose a list of the things in your life you want to improve, and then write next to it a detailed list of ways you plan on executing this. You don't have to tell anyone else your plans. This is between you and God, and is personal. However, if there are things you want to grow in as a household, a family or a couple, you could definitely do this together.
Happy 2013, again!
God bless you in this new stage of your life,
Em xo
Friday, December 28, 2012
A Perfect Friday
Merry, merry Christmas, everyone! I hope you had a beautiful & blessed Christmas day, and are enjoying the holidays with your family and friends. I know I sure am.
Today, December 28, 2012, marks the 22 anniversary of my parent's marriage. I cannot believe how blessed me, and all my siblings, are to have them as parents. It is incredible to think that with about 50% of the population's marriages ending in divorce (and probably more then that are split up) my parent's could stay true in their marriage. I know that in comparison to say, my boyfriend's grandparents who celebrated 61 years of marriage, 22 years seems so small. However, when half of the country's marriages are dissolving after a year or two, 22 years is a lifetime. My Mom has been married to my father for almost half of her life...
So, in honour of my parents, and their beautiful marriage I decided to make a list of things their relationship has taught me. I know some people will read this and consider me and optimistic idealist, but is that not better then being a pessimist, saying that my own marriage to someone some day (God willing) will be something easily dissolved?
Without further ado,
1. Marriage is constant work.
I know that this should be obvious, and entering a marriage expecting anything less would be detrimental to the relationship. However, I think it is something that maybe we hear so often that we forget just how much work needs to go into a marriage.
From the moment you wake up your day is about someone else. Yes, if you have children, it will most likely be mostly about them. But, when you wake up and look at the other half of the bed there is someone there that you work with and work for.
You work with them to build your house into a home. You work with them to pay bills and make ends meet. You work with them to see that your children are nurtured and loved. You work with them to make sure the garbage is taken out, the wood is cut, the groceries are bought, the dishes are done.
You work for them so that when they get home after a hard day they can have a few minutes to relax. You work for them so they don't feel as if they are running your family alone. You work for them so they know you appreciate them and all they do. You work for them so they can do things they enjoy, like play golf, go to a hockey game or have a girls night.
It is constant work and sacrifice.
2. Marriage is spending every day with your best friend.
Yes, marriage is work, but it also hold so much joy!
The older I get the more I am able to reflect over my life and see how much my parent's lives have altered and shifted. Not in a bad way, but in a way that I find very intriguing.
My parent's don't have a ton of friends. They have a lot of acquaintances and people with whom they are friendly. But, once upon a time, when I was little, it seemed that there were a lot of people my parents spent time with. However, now when I look at my parents I realize that my mother's best friend is my father, and my father's best friend is my mother. I know that that is all they need. Yes, they have people with whom they are close, and talk to about important things, but at the end of the day, when an important decision is made, they go to their very best friend.
I think that is so incredibly important and beautiful.
3. Love is not a feeling.
Infatuation is a feeling. Sadness is a feeling. Happiness is a feeling. But love...Love is a sacrifice and a commitment. Some days you will not feel in love with your spouse. Some days they will drive you crazy. But, you love them anyway, because it is a commitment, a sacrifice, and the good they do always out does the bad.
4. Cheesy Romantic movies & books can place undo stress.
Yes, there is romance in marriage, but it isn't like those chick flick books or movies. Reading or watching too many of these things can place unneeded stress on your husband. Yes, they are cute and funny and a few are okay. But, you can sub-consciously begin placing them expectations from fictional characters on your husbands, and that is not fair.
5. God is constantly first.
Your spouse has to love God more then he loves you. Not as much as, but more then! If they do this, then no matter what happens they will always have the ability to love God in you. Even when you yourself may be less then deserving of their love.
My parent's place great value in family prayer, and that, no matter what, brings us together. It is so important!
That's all I have time for today, but they have taught me so much more! I hope you enjoy this and have a beautiful day.
Happy Anniversary Dad and Momma!
God Bless,
Emily xo
Today, December 28, 2012, marks the 22 anniversary of my parent's marriage. I cannot believe how blessed me, and all my siblings, are to have them as parents. It is incredible to think that with about 50% of the population's marriages ending in divorce (and probably more then that are split up) my parent's could stay true in their marriage. I know that in comparison to say, my boyfriend's grandparents who celebrated 61 years of marriage, 22 years seems so small. However, when half of the country's marriages are dissolving after a year or two, 22 years is a lifetime. My Mom has been married to my father for almost half of her life...
So, in honour of my parents, and their beautiful marriage I decided to make a list of things their relationship has taught me. I know some people will read this and consider me and optimistic idealist, but is that not better then being a pessimist, saying that my own marriage to someone some day (God willing) will be something easily dissolved?
Without further ado,
1. Marriage is constant work.
I know that this should be obvious, and entering a marriage expecting anything less would be detrimental to the relationship. However, I think it is something that maybe we hear so often that we forget just how much work needs to go into a marriage.
From the moment you wake up your day is about someone else. Yes, if you have children, it will most likely be mostly about them. But, when you wake up and look at the other half of the bed there is someone there that you work with and work for.
You work with them to build your house into a home. You work with them to pay bills and make ends meet. You work with them to see that your children are nurtured and loved. You work with them to make sure the garbage is taken out, the wood is cut, the groceries are bought, the dishes are done.
You work for them so that when they get home after a hard day they can have a few minutes to relax. You work for them so they don't feel as if they are running your family alone. You work for them so they know you appreciate them and all they do. You work for them so they can do things they enjoy, like play golf, go to a hockey game or have a girls night.
It is constant work and sacrifice.
2. Marriage is spending every day with your best friend.
Yes, marriage is work, but it also hold so much joy!
The older I get the more I am able to reflect over my life and see how much my parent's lives have altered and shifted. Not in a bad way, but in a way that I find very intriguing.
My parent's don't have a ton of friends. They have a lot of acquaintances and people with whom they are friendly. But, once upon a time, when I was little, it seemed that there were a lot of people my parents spent time with. However, now when I look at my parents I realize that my mother's best friend is my father, and my father's best friend is my mother. I know that that is all they need. Yes, they have people with whom they are close, and talk to about important things, but at the end of the day, when an important decision is made, they go to their very best friend.
I think that is so incredibly important and beautiful.
3. Love is not a feeling.
Infatuation is a feeling. Sadness is a feeling. Happiness is a feeling. But love...Love is a sacrifice and a commitment. Some days you will not feel in love with your spouse. Some days they will drive you crazy. But, you love them anyway, because it is a commitment, a sacrifice, and the good they do always out does the bad.
4. Cheesy Romantic movies & books can place undo stress.
Yes, there is romance in marriage, but it isn't like those chick flick books or movies. Reading or watching too many of these things can place unneeded stress on your husband. Yes, they are cute and funny and a few are okay. But, you can sub-consciously begin placing them expectations from fictional characters on your husbands, and that is not fair.
5. God is constantly first.
Your spouse has to love God more then he loves you. Not as much as, but more then! If they do this, then no matter what happens they will always have the ability to love God in you. Even when you yourself may be less then deserving of their love.
My parent's place great value in family prayer, and that, no matter what, brings us together. It is so important!
That's all I have time for today, but they have taught me so much more! I hope you enjoy this and have a beautiful day.
Happy Anniversary Dad and Momma!
God Bless,
Emily xo
Friday, October 26, 2012
21 Reasons I Will Always Need You...
Today is Friday, yet again. Tonight I am heading home for supper and movie night! My younger sister has invited me over to watch The Vow with her tonight. We have both already seen it, but it's so good, so how could we not watch it again?
So in thinking about going there tonight, I thought about how I will forever need my family. I am nearly twenty one years old and I would still rather be with my family and boyfriend then anywhere else in the entire world. I mean that.
I am such a total home body! After having my friend here last week I came to that realization. My friend and I had a lovely visit and it was wonderful having her here, but I was thoroughly exhausted by the end of the week! I would rather be at home hanging out then being out and about doing things! And, although I have my own place now, I would still rather (most of the time) be at home at my parent's house then at my apartment. Not because of the house, but because of who is there.
I have come up with a list of reasons why I will always need my family, and of things they've taught me, thus far. Enjoy!
1. I need someone to bounce ideas and dreams off who will be totally honest, even if I don't always find it helpful.
2. Without my Dad and brothers, who the heck is going to come running when I have a flat tire or my car breaks down?
3. Who else can accurately remind me of the crazy, reckless child I used to be?
4. They are my grounding force and can always help me remember what is truly important.
5. The boys teach me more about Star Wars then I would have ever been capable of learning on my own.
6. They remind me of the fun (and importance) of front yard games of British Bulldog, Football or Baseball.
7. They will still be there even after I yell at them, waiting for an apology.
8. My Mom will always be a phone call away when I can't remember how to make pie crust, fried chicken or potato soup.
9. My parents will always be the voice of reason when I feel I am battling in a losing war.
10. My siblings will be my protectors and no one stands a chance against them if I get hurt.
11. Daddy will always see me as a princess, even when I see myself as a tattered Cinderella before the ball.
12. No matter how far away I get, my family will always say the Rosary together at night and I will be there, in their hearts.
13. My Mom will always remind me of something that the Bible and the Church promises me when I face any trial.
14. They always will each, in a different way, inspire me to be the very best version of myself.
15. I have 4 built in best girl friends who I can always be myself with, 100%!
16. My brothers show me, every day, how very, very different they are from little girls. I have learned, over and over again, the value of a good, old fashioned wrestling match on the living room floor.
17. My parents will always be a reminder to me of extremely hard work and dedication.
18. Mom and Dad will forever by my example of a beautiful, fruitful marriage.
19. My brother is my reminder to be joyful in all things. No matter what's going on, a song is always on his lips, or on his phone at least!
20. My siblings are my reminder to always be a good example, because they watch my every move.
21. I will forever need my family because they never stop loving me, even when they stop liking me. That is a true and rare blessing!
I challenge each of you to make a list of reasons why you need your family, or what they have taught you. You don't have to show anyone, but it will just help you to remember why you love them, because sometimes it is easy to get caught up in why we don't like someone and we forget why we love them anyway.
Have a safe, happy and blessed weekend!
Many prayers,
Em
So in thinking about going there tonight, I thought about how I will forever need my family. I am nearly twenty one years old and I would still rather be with my family and boyfriend then anywhere else in the entire world. I mean that.
I am such a total home body! After having my friend here last week I came to that realization. My friend and I had a lovely visit and it was wonderful having her here, but I was thoroughly exhausted by the end of the week! I would rather be at home hanging out then being out and about doing things! And, although I have my own place now, I would still rather (most of the time) be at home at my parent's house then at my apartment. Not because of the house, but because of who is there.
I have come up with a list of reasons why I will always need my family, and of things they've taught me, thus far. Enjoy!
1. I need someone to bounce ideas and dreams off who will be totally honest, even if I don't always find it helpful.
2. Without my Dad and brothers, who the heck is going to come running when I have a flat tire or my car breaks down?
3. Who else can accurately remind me of the crazy, reckless child I used to be?
4. They are my grounding force and can always help me remember what is truly important.
5. The boys teach me more about Star Wars then I would have ever been capable of learning on my own.
6. They remind me of the fun (and importance) of front yard games of British Bulldog, Football or Baseball.
7. They will still be there even after I yell at them, waiting for an apology.
8. My Mom will always be a phone call away when I can't remember how to make pie crust, fried chicken or potato soup.
9. My parents will always be the voice of reason when I feel I am battling in a losing war.
10. My siblings will be my protectors and no one stands a chance against them if I get hurt.
11. Daddy will always see me as a princess, even when I see myself as a tattered Cinderella before the ball.
12. No matter how far away I get, my family will always say the Rosary together at night and I will be there, in their hearts.
13. My Mom will always remind me of something that the Bible and the Church promises me when I face any trial.
14. They always will each, in a different way, inspire me to be the very best version of myself.
15. I have 4 built in best girl friends who I can always be myself with, 100%!
16. My brothers show me, every day, how very, very different they are from little girls. I have learned, over and over again, the value of a good, old fashioned wrestling match on the living room floor.
17. My parents will always be a reminder to me of extremely hard work and dedication.
18. Mom and Dad will forever by my example of a beautiful, fruitful marriage.
19. My brother is my reminder to be joyful in all things. No matter what's going on, a song is always on his lips, or on his phone at least!
20. My siblings are my reminder to always be a good example, because they watch my every move.
21. I will forever need my family because they never stop loving me, even when they stop liking me. That is a true and rare blessing!
I challenge each of you to make a list of reasons why you need your family, or what they have taught you. You don't have to show anyone, but it will just help you to remember why you love them, because sometimes it is easy to get caught up in why we don't like someone and we forget why we love them anyway.
Have a safe, happy and blessed weekend!
Many prayers,
Em
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