My Father is an amazing man. I mean, as the primary breadwinner for a family of eleven, how could he not be? But, I have not always recognized that about him.
About two years ago I went through some serious healing that brought me to the realization I have today, that my Father is truly an amazing Father, Husband, Friend, Brother and Son. This healing came about during my training for my year serving with NET, the fall of 2010.
The spring of 2010 I had graduated from High School, and throughout most of those four years, sadly, my Father and I were at odds. See, my Daddy is not perfect. He is not the most affectionate man, and he often picks apart what we, my siblings and I, do. I am sure it is not to hurt us, but to challenge us. But, as a young teenage girl (who was, and is, very sensitive) I didn't see it as a challenge to grow, work harder and become more fully who God created me to be. I saw it as an insult and that I would never be good enough to please my Father.
Dad and I fought a lot through those years. He could not wrap his mind around the fact that what he said hurt me. He only saw what he was trying to do- challenge me or joke with me (he is also a huge teaser, and I didn't always find it funny). I remember on numerous occasions calling my boyfriend in tears and saying that my Dad didn't love me, he didn't understand me and I could not wait to get away. Deep in my heart I knew that wasn't true, but at the time I felt heart broken by his continuous criticism.
However, the fall after graduation I started my training for my year on NET, and one day we focused all on "the Father". We were discussing God the Father, andH is constant love for us, and how are earthly fathers are just that, earthly and human! Human- not perfect, but broken, faulted human beings striving for the Kingdom, whether they know it or not. That moment was so healing for me. We went on talking about how, no matter what our relationship was with our Father, we could heal and grow from it, and we have to keep in mind that they are no more perfect then we are.
For the first time I was able to see my Father as the loving caring man he is. I was able to recognize he was not perfect, but he so badly wanted to love me perfectly, and he wanted me to be as perfect as possible so I could one day spend forever with him in Heaven.
That day I forgave my Father for any hurt he had caused and I also made a promise to myself and to God that I would try to understand him better. That I would laugh at his jokes and stop seeing it as a personal attack, that I would forgive him when he hurt me, and that I would see his criticism as an opportunity to look more deeply at myself and see room for change. I realized that having a relationship with my Father needed to be worked on, and may not come easily, but it was so important!
My Dad and I are friends now. I trust him to help me make wise decisions, and to teach me knew things. And, even though I no longer live at home, I still rely on him. My Mom and I were chatting the other day about me purchasing a home, and I said that I would never do it without Dad's advice. She told me that right now my Father is like what a husband is when you get married. When you're married you trust your husband to make good decisions for you and for your family, and to help you and give you advice about certain things. She said right now that is what my Dad does for me. Although I have a boyfriend who I love dearly and we do plan on getting married, right now my Father is the main man I trust for decisions like purchasing a house. I do take into account the opinions and advice of my boyfriend and would not do anything he did not approve of, but at this time in my life I trust my Father to be with me also.
I thought that was such a neat explanation! Parents can be so wise!
Anyway, enough rambling. Go out there and love your Fathers.
God bless,
Emily xo
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