Am I Lovable?

Earlier this month I posted a blog called, Am I Enough? I suppose you could consider this one a follow up to that.

Am I lovable?

This is something I am sure most of you feel faced with regularly, either consciously or unconsciously. I know it is for me. As I talked about in my previous post, it is often a battle in our hearts to feel that we are enough, that we have enough & that we do enough. Along with that comes the question of whether or not we are worthy of the things in life we do recieve, or if where we have been & what we have done are enough to destroy and otherwise bright & hopeful future.

The short answer is no. Nothing we have ever done or could ever do will be enough to make us unlovable.

However, that doesn't stop us from sometimes feeling unlovable. This can be in our relationships, in our families or with God. We get so caught up in how we have failed those around us and failed God that we deem ourselves unlovable. That's a dangerous trap, set by the devil.

The moment we see ourselves as unlovable we open ourselves up to be Satan's little workshop. We are now putty in the ends of the most evil, and he will exploit & ruin us. See, if we deem ourselves unlovable then he tempts us by saying, "You're right, no one can love you after where you've been & what you've done. There is no point is trying to heal those broken parts of you or fix those damaged places. Just give up."

That is the worst thing we can do. We cannot just give up on improving ourselves. We are human and we were made in God's image, therefore He will always love us. Always. We cannot understand that love because our hearts do not reach that capacity. With that in mind we have to remember that we are not perfect & that we sin. AND- we have to remember that since our hearts are not capable of great love like God's is we cannot rely on the love in human relationships to withstand every test. That is why we need God, because no human can love is like He does.

We are always, always lovable. But we cannot relay on our spouses, children, friends, parents, boyfriends or grandparents to reveal that to us. We need God.

Tomorrow is the first Sunday of Advent. As we prepare for our Saviour's birth ask Him to help prepare your heart & fix the broken parts. Ask Him to show you that you are loved.


Please know you are very lovable, despite your brokenness.

Emily xo

I Won't Wear Pink

Pink Day has taken over the world. This week, in Ontario, it's Anti-Bullying week. Do you know where this all began though?

I agree that bullying is an awful, pathetic part of our world and we should, obviously, so anything and everything in our power to put an end to it. But, are Catholic schools going about it the wrong way? I know the ones in my area are.

Pink day began in Nova Scotia by two young men who saw a grade nine student being bullied for sporting a pink polo on his first day at school. Students called him 'gay' and were discussed by his display. Should this have been stopped-ABSOLUTELY! So the men went out, bought some pink tees, and wore them in solidarity of this boy who was bullied. And, the world jumped on board.

This movement has, from the very beginning, had the prime focus on stopping bullying of homosexuals and transsexuals. They try to encompass other anti-bullying movements as well, but the core of this anti-bullying Pink Day is ridding the world of the stigma around individuals who are gay.

I agree that bullying against students and anyone who is gay needs to end. But, I disagree that their lifestyle should be promoted. I will not stand, united in this pink army, telling the world that I support homosexuality. I don't. I believe it's sinful and wrong and that these people need to be love and treated with respect, but they also need to be educated on how to live a holy and pure life while bearing the cross of homosexuality.

I REFUSE to be one of these Catholics...contradicting the very core of the Church's teaching. You cannot be Catholic AND support homosexuality! {This photo is from an absolutely sickening blog post... I am appalled that these individuals will associate themselves with our Catholic Church}

So, I won't wear pink to support this movement. Will you?

Emily xo

May God Have Mercy

Over the past two days I have attended the wake and funeral for a good friend of my boyfriend's family. I first met this beautiful, kind woman five years ago when Troy and I began dating. I quickly liked her and felt bonded to her and her husband. Their house was always warm and welcoming and their hearts were always full of love. She lost her battle with cancer last Thursday and her family and friends are still grieving...

Yesterday their tiny Church was filled to the seams with people who loved her, and it was a lovely service. We sat a few seats behind her husband and her family and I wanted to share with you what I observed from my seat.

As I watched her husband standing at the end of his pew, with his son on one side my heart broke for him. His gaze never wavered from the large image of his beautiful wife, projected on the wall of the Church. I realized something as I watched him... For all the years of his marriage his wife had been next to his side when things were the hardest and he needed someone's support. They were partners is every sense of the word, and the very best of friends. Yes, they had other friends of course, but at the end of the day when they needed a shoulder to cry on or words of encouragement they had one another. That is a beautiful gift.

Now though, he faced the hardest thing he's ever encountered. He lost his partner, his other half and his best friend. He didn't have her shoulder to cry on or hand to hold when the world handed him the hardest of pills to swallow. He now has to face the most life-altering changes he's ever experienced and he has to learn to live without the love of his life. That's the hardest thing- when all the dust has settled and everyone's gone home, he's left alone. He doesn't have his wife to sit next to and lean on. He doesn't have his best friend to encourage him to find the strength to go own...

Where do you go from there? How do you learn to live?

I wish I knew the answer to that and I wish I could heal the heartache. I don't though...only God can heal the most broken parts of us in those moments. Only God can bring us up from the darkest of days. Thankfully this man knows Him. Otherwise, how do you go on? If you don't believe you can lean on our Jesus, who knows the pain we feel, then where do you turn?

I know this is a sad post, but it's worth sharing. It provides us with something to think about.

Emily xo
May God have mercy on her soul!

Five Things I Would Tell My Sixteen Year Old Self

After grade nine (which was miserable) I really enjoyed my high school experience, for the most part. But, I remember often finding myself torn between God's love and mercy and the secular-minded world was pushing in the face of a weak, impressionable sixteen year old. I was trying to figure out where I fit in school and in the world, and how I could accept and embrace the cross that I carried, being Catholic in a confused, angry world.

Like every sixteen year old in the world (or, at least I hope I was like every other sixteen year old!) I failed. Over and over again I messed up, cried, begged for forgiveness and proceeded to fail again.

Here's what I would tell myself at sixteen:

1. People will hate you. That probably wasn't the vote of confidence you were hoping would start off this list, but it is probably the most true and most important thing here. I want you to know that if you live the life you are called to, if you live like a Princess by following our King, if you love despite the hate and forgiveness in the midst of pain people will despise you and persecute you. I wish I could tell you it gets easier...it doesn't. As you get older people will hate you with more passion. They will threaten you and tell you you're ignorant. And, my dear, it will be worth it.

"If the world hates you, remember that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world it would love you as it's own. But I have chosen you out of the world, so you don't belong to it. That is why the world hates you." John 15:18-19

2. Be patient, you will find people who treasure and adore you. Yes, the world will persecute you. But, others will look up to you and adore you. Cling to these people and they will be your greatest treasure. We were not made to live this life of faith alone and we need community and support. Surround yourself with these people, learn from them, teach them, pray with and for them. 

"Where two or three gather in my name, there I am with them." Matthew 18:20

3. Be thankful. You are not too cool to say, "thank you". Don't kid yourself, people will walk away if you are not grateful for their presence in your life. Tell and show everyone you are thankful for them. People need to know they are needed, just as you need to know you are needed. Don't ever take advantage. Be thankful for every moment you are given and for every person in your life. You don't have forever. Most importantly, thank God. He is responsible for this beautiful life you have. Thank Him with every breath.

"In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." 1 Thessalonians 5:18

4. Forgive. People will hate you and hurt you. It's easy to get caught up in holding grudges. Trust me, it gets you no where. Holding on only makes you more miserable. Instead, ask God for the grace to love through your pain and forgive those who hurt you. That love will set you free. Learn from the hurt but don't let it define or consume you.

"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgive one another, as God in Christ forgave you." Ephesians 4:32

5. Never stop being passionate. You know what is right, what is good, what you love and what you don't. Be passionate about those things and don't let anyone tell you that you are wrong. God has given you the grace to know these things and do find passion for them. Don't let anyone put out your light!

*I hope these inspire you today! Happy Tuesday!

Emily xo

Am I Enough?

Recently I had an episode of feeling totally, entirely overwhelmed with my life. Every once in awhile the business of my life catches up to me and forces me to step back and re-evaluate my life and where I am headed.

Being in school has added a massive other dimension to my life. Having been out of school for three years I had added other dimensions to my life, taken on other projects and focused on other things. Shifting a major part of my attention back on school has been hard. I am now nearing the end of my third month of school (and finals!) and I still am struggling with this balancing act. Being out of school for three years had allowed me to develop parts of myself that I wasn't able to during school. For example, not being in school allowed me to have time to attend Mass on a more regular basis, spend more time in prayer, put more of myself into developing my relationship with Troy, improve my relationship with my family, help with youth ministry in my dioceses, read books I was interested in (and didn't have to read), enjoy my friends and spend time with them and many, many other things.

Since starting school I had been doing all of these things plus being in class for about 24 hours a week, working 7 hours a week and spending nearly 3 hours every evening on homework, studying and assignments. Needless to say, I was wearing myself thin and hit a wall. With finals approaching, my first clinical placement coming up and many school projects needing attention God called me to my knees and asked me to over look my life.

Maybe you've heard the quote, "If God brings you to it, He'll bring you through it." And, He certainly will. However, sometimes He will tug at your heart and ask you to take a step back, with Him, and overlook where you are. This was the point I had reached.

As much as I loved everything I was putting my time and heart into I couldn't carry on at this rate. So, I sat with my King, took a deep breath and asked Him where He wanted me, and then I asked Him to match my will to His...a very hard task for someone as stubborn as me!

I unfortunately had to step back from my role on the Diocesan Youth Ministry Team as I wasn't being fair to them if they were counting on me to do things I just couldn't at this time in my life. As much as I love youth ministry I felt God calling me back to Him. School had tested my relationship with Him, since finding time for prayer and Mass became increasingly difficult. I felt Him calling me to deepen that relationship before seeking to lead others to Him in a youth min. leadership position. (Obviously I still am called to evangelize everyday, but not to the same capacity I was as part of the team).

Letting go of certain things in life and allowing myself to focus on others has been hard...harder than I expected.  I feel like I am constantly feeling like I have failed...and I am constantly questioning if I am enough?

But, I am more than enough...I know that. Allowing God to refocus me and summon me back to His heart is not a bad thing. People will think whatever they think...only He and I can know what's best for me. And, I have to follow where He leads because that is the surest way to the gates of Heaven.

I just want to remind you, wherever you are, whatever you are doing, that you are enough. Follow His will and you will be happy and more than enough.

-Emily xo

Pray More

I have this printed off and posted by my desk in my room. It is getting me through school, as I prepare for the end of my first semester, and for my first clinical placement!

I hope it can help you also.

Emily xo

Let Go(d)

I don't remember where I first heard this saying, but lately it has become my mantra! I find myself reminding my heart of this numerous times a day in the last few weeks. I am sure I am not the only one who needs to hear this.

I hope this helps, encourages and inspires you. I am praying for you.

Emily xo

Pray for Them!

Today is All Souls day! I think, as Catholics, we tend to undermine and forget the critical importance and beauty that All Souls day brings. November is the month of the Holy Souls, so not only does this day get notice on November 2nd, the Church sees it as so important that we spend an entire month acknowledging it. 

Take a moment to think about that...

What other Catholic feasts or individuals get an entire month dedicated to them...Mary gets a month, we take a month to prepare for Christmas, we spend 40 days preparing our hearts for Easter....those are all massively important events and people in our faith. So, do the Holy Souls not deserve massive attention as well. Yes, they do.

Keep in mind your family members and friends who have passed away. Are they in Heaven? Or, are the waiting patiently for your prayers in Purgatory. When a souls is in Purgatory they cannot pray for themselves. Put yourself in their shoes...imagine not having anyone pray that your soul would be purified and reach Heaven. When I die I certainly hope someone prays for my soul! Take this month to truly pray and acknowledge the souls of people close to you, and for those souls who have no one to pray for them. 

Are you praying for someone's soul?

Emily xo