Monday, January 28, 2013

Modest Dress- Archaic or Relevant?

Is modest dress in our current world an outdated idea, reserved only for the pushy religious and Amish? I am no expert, and by no means a saint, but I have some strong opinions on this. I think that probably stems from my passion for young women ministry. I so badly want for all young women to know their value and to know how stunning and precious they are. My heart hurts for so many young ladies I see walking around with hardly enough fabric around their bodies to be considered clothing.

I don't think I am a prude...maybe some would consider me to be so, but I really think that I just value people, and our God, and that means believing in some ideas that some may consider archaic and silly. Whatever your opinion on the matter, I challenge you to read on, and see what I have to say.

I believe what so many people in our world seem to have forgotten. Our bodies are holy. We were created in the image and likeness of God. Of God. I mean, God could have made us to look however He pleased, He is God after all. But He cared so deeply for what he was about to create that he wanted to make us like Him in all ways but sin. That is the highest of honours.

Maybe you think you mother, or aunt or some other relative is simply stunning. When people tell you that you resemble them, you are incredibly flattered because you take that to mean you are nearly as beautiful as they are. So, is being made in the image of our God not also high praise? He adores us! There is no greater flattery.

I believe this to mean that are bodies are made with such care and love that we need to respect them as such. We need to veil them and care for them in a way that reflects the glory in which they were created. This point could be argued both ways I suppose...

I see it to mean that we need to cloth our bodies in a way that reflects the glory we were made in, but others may say that if God made us like Him would He not want us to show it off?

I think the answer to that is, no. Time and time again we see and hear that God is a gentleman. He never forces himself where He is not welcome. He waits to be invited into our hearts, our homes, our schools, our jobs and then He enters with grace. I believe He calls us to do the same.

We are ladies, and we need to act as such. This means dressing our bodies in a way that reflects that. We don't need to display all we are to the world. Rather, we reserve it. Not in shame, but in respect, not only for ourselves, but for those around us. Our bodies are beautiful! No matter the shape or size, they are stunning. That being said, we do not have the right to expose ourselves in a way that disgraces what God has made or in a way that leads others to sin.

I don't want to make this post to long and rambly, but I think this is an important topic. So, over the next few days I am going to touch on what modest dressing is (in my opinion), and how how we dress can impact other's temptations for sin.

Have a wonderful, blessed day, and dress your best!

Prayers,

Emily xoxo

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Father, Forgive Me


1 John 1:9


"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."

Confession is one the truly beautiful gifts the Catholic Church gives us. It is a chance for us to send our human pride running, and set our hearts free. I am so incredibly thankful for this gift, and for the graces I receive from it. I wanted to give a brief reflection of Reconciliation, and it's crucial presence in our lives.

I remember when I made my First Reconciliation. It was kind of like the first time you get on a bicycle without training wheels. You are so excited, but there is an anxiety in your heart because of the guarantee that you will fall, be vulnerable and embarrassed before getting up and rising to the occasion and becoming better and better. 

It is so humbling to sit before another human, in whom God is residing, and say, "I messed up...again!" The first time I went to Confession I was terrified, and excited, and I had the expectation that after the first time the anxiety would ease up, and every other time I went I would feel nothing but excitement for the forgiveness of my sins. But, here I am, nearly 13 years later, and the anxiety is still very real. 

It does not get any easier to sit before a Priest in the Sacrament of Confession and admit every little thing you have done wrong. When I sit on the hard, wooden Church pews before entering the confessional I always strive to do a thorough examination of my conscience. It is one of the most painful and rewarding things in life. To make a good confession we have to rip off every band aid on our soul, look deep into the wounds and bring to mind every sword we have pierced our souls with.

Then we enter the Confessional, and we bare to our King every wounded part of our soul and plead for Him to remove the daggers that pierced us. This is so humbling, and cleansing, but the real relief comes when we are absolved of those daggers and our Saviour cleanses our wounds with the blood He shed from the Cross, and when He challenges us to keep our wounds healed and to never again allow Satan close to us with his daggers and temptation.

Sin is part of our lives. We mess up, every single day, over and over again. We are human, and not without sin. Being able to look into our selves and see where we have allowed Satan to rule is important, because although sin is part of our lives, we don't have to let it consume us. Confession provides a place for us to apologize and start over with a clean slate. It is okay to acknowledge our imperfections, but it is not okay to give into them. 

No matter how long it's been, find yourself a priest and make an appointment with him to hear your Confession. It's never too late to start living again!

Prayers and love,

Emily xo

Friday, January 18, 2013

11 Things Every Girl Should Know...

I was looking back over my past the other day, and I realized how thankful I was for the things I was told/taught before dating, and what I wished I'd known. I decided to put together a list of what every girl should know before entering the dating world. Number 10 & 11 are the most important...don't stop reading before you get there!

Without further ado, 11 Things Every Girl Should Know:

1. Trust your parents/caregivers. Believe it or not, they are not looking to ruin your life and destroy your chances with every boy you know. They have intuition and insight you may not have because time, experience and parenting has taught them a thing or two.

2. You don't want to be 'hot'. Hot is a temperature. You want to be gorgeous, beautiful, intelligent. Sometimes young men don't understand the difference, and it's okay to teach them. Hot suggests you have a nice, sexy body, which is great. But is that body not also the host of a beautiful soul, and intriguing mind? The answer is yes. Yes, you are so much more!

3. Be a lady, always. Being a lady doesn't mean strutting around like a princess, it means demanding respect by your polite charm. Use manners like they're going out of style, dress your body in a way that would make your grandfather proud, not blush with embarrassment, speak in a way that is uplifting and encouraging, never swear. 

4. Let men be men. Men need to know they are men, so let them open doors help you out of the car, put your coat on, fix your vehicle and talk about how tough they are. Don't let your pride get in the way of those things. Take them as a sincere form of flattery. 

5. Say what you mean. Don't say flowers are a waste of money when you secretly are dying for a man to show up at the door with a beautiful bouquet. You will confuse the poor fellow!

6. Even gentlemen are still men. Men are physical beings, they can't help it. Just like we are emotional and can't help it. Avoid situations for too much physical intimacy, because it can lead you down a dangerous road. Just because a man is a gentleman in every sense of word does not mean is immune to temptation, especially in a dark room, on a bed, with the door closed. Avoid it, for his sake as much as yours.

7. Be smart. Too much to drink or staying out too late can also lead you down a road to temptation, so monitor your alcohol and be home at a reasonable hour.

8. Affirm him. He needs to know he is doing things well. So, thank him and build him up.

9. Defend him. He loves you and you love him. Don't criticize him in front of your friends for the sake of popularity or a laugh. 

10. Discern Marriage. This may be one of the most important things on the list (with the exception of number 11, obviously). Do not date for the sake of dating, or for social status. Ask yourself, "Could I marry this man? Would he be a good husband and father?" You both need to have the expectation that this relationship is for the discernment of marriage and your forever. Pray, pray, pray!!

11. God is always first. Always. You may be head over heals in love with someone, but if God is not first it is all for not. Love God before anyone! Place God first & he will lead and guide you in your relationship. This is the most important thing!! This means praying about your relationship, both alone and with him. Praying together is a beautiful thing and you will be tremendously blessed! Go to Church together- another critical and beautiful thing!

I hope that these are enlightening and useful! May God bless you, and the one you will marry!

-Emily xox

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Just Friends?

I recently had an interesting conversation with a friends regarding relationships...specifically those undefined ones. You know what I am talking about...those ones that when someone asks you about it, you shrug and say, "Well, it's not official", or "We haven't given it a title."

I have a huge problem with these type of relationships, or lack there of. There is no such thing as being 'undefined'. The way I see it, you can split your relationships with people other then your family into three categories. Maybe there are exceptions, but I would say this is a generally good guide line.

Acquaintances: These may be people you work or go to school with. You are friendly with them and acknowledge them. They are the people you discuss small matters with. For example, "How are you today?", "I heard you were on vacation, did you enjoy your time away?", "Nice to see you again. How did you spend your summer?" You don't go deep with them, and wouldn't invite them into your home for a long morning chat over a cup of coffee.
These people are important because often time they give us confidence in our ability to socialize and give us someone to chat with that doesn't require depth or huge emotional investment (which, let's be honest, sometimes we just aren't up to)

Friends: These are people with whom you are comfortable. You don't have to try to impress them by being anything other then yourself, but are still careful with what parts you allow to be revealed. You can talk to them about the small, surface-y things, but can also reach a certain point of depth. They are people you go out to dinner with, invite over and spend special occasions with. There may be certain things you feel unable to talk to them about, for example, religion, or personal issues. They are wonderful for support, encouragement and a good laugh, but lack a certain element of depth.

Best Friends: This may be a spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend, or someone with whom you share a significant past. You are never afraid to share your heart with them because you have a massive amount of trust that they will help you carry it, and not destroy it. You have a lot of emotional investment in the relationship with them, and feel comfortable with them to be wholly yourself. You know they will not pass judgement, even though they may gently correct you. You know you can do the same for them.
This relationship is critical and does not happen over night. It takes much time to build the foundation of trust and loyalty that this friendship is built on.

I find that, woman in particular, fall into relationships with the opposite sex and we allow ourselves to be confused. I am not saying that it's our fault, because I know that woman often lead with their hearts. It is just how we are created. However, there are ways to help ourselves.

I am going to use a story of a friend of mine, whom we will call Lily, to illustrate my point. Lily came to me, heartbroken, after she found out a man who she'd been spending time with over the past year had lied to her, or omitted certain details of his personal life. She had told me, over and over again, that they were not dating, and although I had my suspicions that her feelings were more then that of a friend, I assumed that they had decided not to get romantically involved. So, I was a little surprised when she came to me upset. If she was not dating him, then I wasn't sure why she expected him to tell her ever detail of his personal life. From my point of view they were in the friends stage, and there was a certain depth, but not full disclosure of every detail.

When I asked her about their relationship she said that they were more then friends. I asked if they were dating and she said no...

This is what went wrong. She allowed herself to get so emotionally and physically involved with this man that she could no longer see what their relationship truly was, in his eyes and the eyes of everyone who knew them. If one partner in the relationship, be it friends or more, is more invested then the other, people get hurt. It cannot be helped. That's why, sometimes as adults, men and woman can't be best friends without dating, or being married. You have to reserve certain parts of yourself (physically and emotionally) and be careful about what relationships you invest in.

Ladies, if a man can't put a title on what you have-run! Seriously, you will get hurt. If your feelings are growing for him, and he doesn't feel the same way don't continue to invest yourself in hopes he will change. You need to be on the same page about where you stand in your relationships.

I hope this will help and encourage some of you in some of your relationships. I hate seeing people hurt because of miscommunication and lack of understanding.

Good luck and God bless!

-Emily xo

Friday, January 11, 2013

Trust

Last night my Father and my Brother came over for dinner. My brother had a basketball game, that ended abruptly with a trip to the hospital for a grossly dislocated finger. Since the hospital is near my apartment I called and asked if they'd like to come for something to eat. They accepted the invitation and we had a lovely supper together.

After they left I was thinking of something. First, how rare it is for my father, brother and I to have a conversation, without interruption, that lasted more the two minutes. Not that we don't try to bond or anything, just that in our home, growing up in the craziness, there just wasn't time for sit down, long chats.

The second thing I realized was how important my relationship is with these two men. Awhile ago I had a chat with my Mom about my relationship with my Dad. I was saying how I trust him to help me make decisions about my car, or purchasing a home, because I know he'll do what's best for me, and he knows what he's talking about. She was remarking about how interesting it is how, at the beginning of our lives that is very much the role of our fathers. We trust their judgement and respect their decision making. Then later in life, God willing, when we get married, that becomes the role of our husbands. We trust them to be the head of our relationship and the head of our homes, spiritually and otherwise.

So, I realized that although I am in a committed relationship with a man whom I plan on marrying, I still rely on my father for certain judgement calls. I also noticed that my brother is no longer a little kid, and I have noticed myself going to him with questions about my car, and other such things. I think it's my instinct to go to them because I know that, no matter what, they will stand by me. That is why we see brothers who give their sister's boyfriends a hard time, and men who ask their girlfriend's father for permission before marrying her.

It is so important to let men to men, and to trust them with our heart and souls (be careful and discerning about this, however!) In a world where more and more woman are fighting for independence and feminism, it is important to remember that traditional family roles still have a very important place in our world, as I have mentioned before. Men need to know that their opinion and knowledge is valued. Today, build up the men in your life, don't tear them down!

Blessings,

Emily xo

Monday, January 7, 2013

When I Grow Up...

Happy Monday, everyone. Today, for most people, is the day they head back to school or work after the beautiful Christmas holidays. I hope you have a smooth transition into 2013 wherever you find yourself today!

Today, at work, a woman I know was in and we were chatting. She was asking if I had attended post secondary school after my year on NET. I told her that, no, I haven't. I have however, applied to schools for the fall of 2013.

We were talking about school and life and just basically solving all the problems of the world. Hee hee :)

She told me that she attended college after she graduated from high school, and that she barely used her diploma. She worked for a little bit, then moved home and got a totally unrelated job. Now, she has a beautiful family and her 'job' is being 100% committed to them.

I grew up in a home where my Mom stayed home with the children. After I was born my Mom never really worked (with the exception of a short stint of supply teaching at my elementary school) outside of our home. She still is a stay at home Mom, because my youngest sister is still only two. I took for granted that my Mom was always home with me. She home schooled me and a few of my siblings for a few years, and had she been working full time that would not have been an option.

The woman that was in at work today, let's call her Susan, was saying that people have been asking her lately what she's going to do now that all of her children are in school. I mean, from people who have never experienced what it is like to have or be a stay at home Mom, I suppose it could seem quite strange that someone would stay at home when the kids are away at school.

But, here's the thing. The work doesn't stop because the kids get on the bus and are gone for six hours, five days a week. If your home is anything like my parent's house was when I was growing up, then it is probably a giant mess by the time the kids are out the door. There is constant cleaning to be done, endless piles of laundry and heaps of dirty dishes. There are prayers to be said for your family. There are beds to be made. There are "to-do" and grocery lists to be made. There are groceries to be bought and meals to be made. There are schedules to make and hockey games to get ready for. There are school plays and classroom volunteering. There are sick kids and forgotten lunches. And, in six short hours there will be hungry little children scampering into the house with more energy then you know what to do with from sitting in a classroom all day. There will be a husband coming home from a long day at work who will need some supper. There will heads that need to be kissed, prayers that need to be said, stories to be read and blankets to be tucked in.

The work does not stop because your children are gone for a few hours. In fact, it provides (for the most part) uninterrupted work time. Stop for a second today and recognize who ever it is who does all of those things in your home, because they have a very, very hard duty.

When Susan was here today we were talking about something her daughter said to her. Her nine year old said, "Mom I am so glad we're not rich." When asked what she meant, she said, "Because if we were rich that would mean you would have to work, and we wouldn't see you that much." If a nine year old can see this reality so clearly, why does the rest of the world criticize it? I think it's because they just don't get it.
Susan said she is trying to raise good, holy, Catholic children, and she could not leave that up to a babysitter or the teachers. That job is in the home. If her family was "rich" because she was working out of the home, how hard would it be to raise good, faithful children? I know it can be done, but for her family (and for my family) it just would not work.

I am, by no means, saying there is anything wrong with being a career woman. I realize that some people are just not called to be home makers, and that in some cases staying home with your children is financially, not an option. I am saying though, that there is something to be said for the value of a solid traditional family, and having a breadwinner and a home maker.

Here's to all you hard working, stay at home Mommas out there. God bless you for what you do! And as a product of a truly traditional family, thank you! More then anything, when I grow up I want to be even half the Momma my Mother is. You are a beautiful inspiration to me, all of you!

Love and prayers,

Em xo

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Butter Tart Squares

Every Christmas my boyfriend only asks for one thing-baking! So this year, of course, I left it 'til the last possible minute. In my baking frenzy I had every intention of making him butter tarts (one of his favourite sweets), but I ran out of time. In search of a lazy baker's replacement I found a recipe for butter tarts squares. They turned out beautifully and were so, so good!

I wanted to share the recipe with you in case you have a hankering for something sweet on this beautiful Saturday.

What you're gonna need to grab:
Ingredients:
-Flour
-White & Brown Sugar
-Butter
-Eggs
-Raisins
-Baking Powder
-Vanilla
-Salt

Equipment:
-9"x9" or 8"x8" baking pan
-oven that is pre-heated to 350 degrees F
-2 mixing bowls
-Measuring cups and spoons
-Spatula/wooden spoon
-Pastry cutter

What you're gonne do:
The Base:
1 cup of flour
1/4 cup white sugar
1/2 cup butter

Combine the flour and sugar in a mixing bowl and, using a pastry cutter, but in the butter until cubbed. Stir everything together using a wooden spoon. Then, press into your baking pan and bake @ 350F for 15 minutes.

The Topping:
2 Tbsp. butter, melted
2 eggs, lightly beaten
1 cup packed brown sugar
2Tbsp. flour
1/2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. vanilla
Pinch of salt
1 1/2 cup raisins (if you like less, you can add less)

In a bowl, beat your eggs; add melted butter. Mix in vanilla and brown sugar and stir well. In a second bowl combine flour, baking powder, salt. Stir well. Add the flour mixture to the egg mixture, slowly, and stir well. Add in raisins.

After 15  minutes remove the base from the oven and let stand for 2 minutes. Then, pour topping mixture over the base and put it back into the oven. Bake for another 20-15 minutes at 350 degrees F, or until top springs back when touched.

Let cool once done. They are best after covered and refrigerated.

recipe adapted from http://www.canadianliving.com/food/baking_and_desserts/butter_tart_squares.php

I hope you enjoy the squares! Let me know how they turn out!

Prayers,

Em xo 

Thursday, January 3, 2013

A Resolution to Commit

“Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert."- Isaiah 43: 18-19

I wanted to touch a little bit on starting fresh in the New Year. While listening to the local radio station yesterday I heard the morning show hosts discussing resolutions and the high percentage of people who break them within the first week. I am guilty of not only that, but also of not really making resolutions to begin with. 

I think there are a few reasons for this. First, as a society we are terrified of commitment. You see this in the amount of common-law 'marriages' because people are afraid to "put a ring on it" and make a lasting covenant. We see this in the 50% divorce rate and the disposable view a lot of young people have about marriage. We see this in the increasing number of open dating relationships. We see this in families that fall apart after a fight over money in a will. We see this in the increasing lack of family time in a lot of households. We see this in the word 'maybe' that we toss around like a hot potatoe. We are terrified of making a commitment of our love, of our time, of ourselves. We don't want to be stuck with something in case some other, better option comes along. The grass is always greener, right? 

We are afraid to commit to a resolution of improving ourselves because we don't want to be 'stuck' in case we find something better to do. Commitment is a lot of work, and we are scared of sacrificing ourselves.

Second, we make unrealistic, and, for lack of a better word, 'slack' resolutions. We say, " In 2013 I want to eat healthy." That is fabulous, and a great thing to strive for.  But we often forget the how. I am not sure if this is the case for all of you, but for me it is a matter of lack of planning. It's as if the new year sneaks up on me and I panic and either make no resolutions or say, I am going to eat healthy, exercise more, be nice, etc. and I forget to come up with the how. The how is critical. We have to know what we are going to do to make those goals attainable.

For me, New Years resolutions have a deeper, spiritual meaning. It's kind of like Lent. In Lent we are preparing ourselves for Easter, and we are fasting and improving ourselves for the King. I think sometimes we forget that our entire lives are about preparing for the King. Every single second of every single day is about paving our path to Heaven. We don't automatically get in, we gotta work our buns off. So, the new year provides a time for me to reflect on my life and think of the areas in which I need to improve. 

We need to be very self aware, and ask the Holy Spirit to enlighten us in how we need to improve for God. This is about improving ourselves for God, not for self-gratification. For example, we want to eat healthy to improve our life style so we have more energy and maybe live longer so we can more accurately fulfil what God has planned for our lives, and give Him glory through that, not just to loose weight and look hot (although, that is a bonus). We need to rid ourselves of the temptation for prideful motives in our resolutions.

It is not too late to make your resolutions for 2013. I suggest you sit down this evening and compose a list of the things in your life you want to improve, and then write next to it a detailed list of ways you plan on executing this. You don't have to tell anyone else your plans. This is between you and God, and is personal. However, if there are things you want to grow in as a household, a family or a couple, you could definitely do this together.

Happy 2013, again!

God bless you in this new stage of your life,

Em xo

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

It's Okay to Walk Away

Happy New Years, world! I hope you all enjoyed some fun, beautiful celebrations of the end of 2012, and the start of 2013. I am praying that your 2013 will be incredibly blessed!

I was sick on New Year's Eve, with a bad cold that is going around, but I still enjoyed a laid back get together with some of our close friends. I was blessed to bring in the new year with them. In enjoying this time with my friends, I was reflecting a little bit on my past friendships, and how they have ended, and how some of them were easier to walk away from then others. I also realized that this is a topic everyone deals with at some point, and so I thought it may be something good to address, especially at the beginning of a New Year when we may need a fresh start and fresh perspective.

This is a little bit of my back story to help explain how I deal with friendships ending, or at least changing.

I met my first real best friend when I was in grade three. I went to a small elementary school, and this girl whom we'll call Jessie, was a grade ahead of me. She was so bubbly and I was painfully shy. Her first words to me were, "Hi, I'm Jessie. Want to come over for a sleepover?" And so began the most beautiful of friendships! I think she made me feel so confident in myself, and brought out my goofy side.

When she graduated from grade eight at our elementary school the year before I did I remember being so sad. I didn't want to be at a different school from her for the next year. I think I was also afraid of how things would change between us as she began high school.

We made a genuine effort to keep our friendship for all of that year...but by the time I began grade nine we had drifted apart. We were still friends, and still talked and she was so wonderful to look after me as I navigated the world of high school for the first time. But, as my grade nine year wore on it became obvious to both of us that our groups of friends were different, and we too were different. I think this was a beautiful lesson to learn. I don't remember really mourning our friendship because it never really ended. I still talk to her once in awhile when I run into her around home, and love her dearly. We will always share part of our past and I will always treasure that. There was no fighting or harsh words that abruptly ended our relationship, and I think that this taught me the beauty of growing up and growing out.

Sometimes we grow out of friendships. That doesn't mean we never talk to the person again, but it may mean that your friendship has changed from something intense and loyal to more of a casual  type relationship. And that is 100% okay. It's important to remember that, and not feel guilty. Don't get angry at the other person or at yourself for it ending. We all change as individuals...where we are at in life, what we are doing, where we move to, what our interests are... all those things change, and it is totally natural that your friends will change to flatter that.

Throughout high school I had a couple of other friends that I got close to and later drifted away from as our interests and relationships with other people changed. Looking back, I am so thankful for all the lovely memories I have with each of them.  Because they all pretty well are still people I chat with once in awhile, and are just not as close to me as they once were, I only remember the good. There was no sour ending that perverts my memory of their loyal, beautiful friendship.

More recently, after living in Alberta for a year, I lost a friend. She had been my best friend for the last three years of high school. We will call her Laura. I loved her and her family a lot, and had every intention of remaining friends with her after high school. I thought that since neither of us were going away to post-secondary right away, and although we'd live apart for a year we would reunite and carry on, happily. That was not the case.

As my year in Alberta came to a close it was fairly obvious to me that our relationship had changed. They people I was living with in Alberta had become like my family, and because of my limited contact with home (because of the busy-ness of my volunteering I would only talk to my parents at least once a week.) I told them everything I would have spoken to Laura about, had I been at home. Emails and letters, and even phone calls were not the same as sharing your heart with someone face to face. She also had begun getting closer to friends of hers from home, with whom she could also share her heart face to face.

When I got home from Alberta we made a point to see one another as soon as we both got the chance. I was hoping that we could repair the distance that I felt in my heart, but the day we met for lunch was one the most difficult days I have experienced.

She began to fill me in on things that were going on and I realized the woman that sat across from me was not the young girl who had brought me cupcakes the night before I left a year earlier. I realized also, that she knew nothing of my life and how much I had changed and grown over the past year. I also realized that our faith lives were entirely different, and having been surrounded by faithful Catholics for the past year I saw how challenging a deep friendship with someone who didn't share all my values and morals was going to be. We had both changed and grown up a lot in the year I was away, and having done so essentially without one another had created, what I saw to be, an unfillable void in our friendship.  I loved her dearly, and it hurt my heart to see our friendship disappear.

In the following months we rarely spoke, and a lot more changed in my life. In the past, she would have been the first to know what I was dealing with, but I felt myself not reaching out to her. I assumed she felt the same way, as she never reached out to me. That fall when I finally did speak to her, it did not go well. She had found out my family was moving, and I think felt shafted that I hadn't informed her right away. I made a comment, after apologizing, that it was because we had drifted apart.

From her reaction, she did not see the same void in our friendship. She was offended and hurt and felt I was not willing to fix our friendship. She got quite angry at me (which I understand, and in her shoes, probably would have reacted the same way). Things ended very badly and bitterly between us. We have attempted since to get together to try and form a civil relationship, at the very least. It has never happened, and I know she blames me for that.

I'm not angry that the blame is placed on me, as I would probably do the same in her place. However, I also place blame on myself. I wish I hadn't brought up our drifting apart, and given her more time to realize it on her own. That way we could have avoided a lot of pain and bitterness. But, live and learn.

So, in light of it being the start of a New Year, I want to reassure you that it is not a bad thing to grow apart from people. I think that sometimes we think growing apart from friends is something that happens when we are younger, but I believe that the greatest changes are happening when we're in our twenties. This is the time in our lives when we are discovering our careers, falling in love, getting married, moving away, and maybe having children. All of those things have massive impacts on the people we reach to for comfort and support. Do not be afraid to let a friendship fade. Just let it do so in it's own time, and don't push people away. You want to preserve your beautiful past, and let this be a good, wholesome learning experience.

You and your friends are in my prayers this New Year!

Love,

Emily xo