A Life of Service

I am nearly a month into my first year of college. It's crazy to me how quickly time is passing! I am studying to become a Personal Support Worker. My job would entail providing and assisting with the personal care that individuals, for whatever reason, cannot perform themselves. This is anything from assisting new mothers in their homes to helping an elderly person in a long term care facility to shower and eat. It's entirely a job of service.

It took me years to reach the conclusion that this is what I would go to school for. In my heart I have always desired only one thing-to be a mother. I still believe that is what God has in store for me, and my boyfriend and I are sure we'll be married one day. However, personal reasons lead he and I to make a decision that going to school is what I need to do right now. It's my duty of the moment, and where God has called me to be. 

In my first month of classes I have learned so many things, I cannot even begin to tell you. It has been a total information overload, both in the classroom and outside. But, the one things I have learned is that my job is going to be service.

The reason I wanted to post about this is not because I want to be patted on the back for choosing to begin a path towards a noble, applaud-worthy career. There are a lot of careers that fall into that category. The reason I wanted to write a post about it is because this program has taught me that service reaches beyond my job.

Yes, when I graduate and, God willing, find a job, I will be working ridiculous hours serving people. But does that mean when I go home I get to stop my serving?

I have been thinking about that question a lot recently. God has certainly placed it on my heart to be pondered and prayed about. And, the answer is absolutely not! As a Christian my entire life is a call to serve others. Maybe you're heard of the "I am Third" idea. Jesus, others, me. First and foremost I must serve my Lord. This means praying without ceasing (sigh, I so wish I was able to do this...pray for me!). it means attending Mass and being active in the sacrifice there. It means thanking Him for everything. It means taking time to sit with Him and listen to Him. It means loving Him in others.

Which, brings us to the second part- Others. I have to serve others through every aspect of my life. This can take a hundred different forms, from literally serving them, to opening doors, to sharing a smile, to giving a hug, to visiting someone. Anything you can think of that may possibly assist another is putting someone else before yourself.

Lastly, it's time to think about me. However, through serving our King, and serving others we have really already taken care of ourselves. If we properly take care of the first two then you'll be taking care of yourselves in ways you cannot imagine.

So, this was a very long, round-about way of saying that the purpose of our very life it to serve. This has been an awesome realization for me (in my heart I already knew this, and have heard it a thousand time, but I needed to have my eyes really opened to this idea because I wasn't truly living a life of service). I am so thankful God has allowed me to see more clearly how I can serve in my every day life, in every moment! It has been a relief for me to know that I don't need a career of service to be fulfilled in a life of service. That may be part of my life of service, but it isn't all encompassing.

God bless!
Emily xo

Being Catholic in College

This September I began college for the first time. Yes, I have been finished high school for 3 and a half years, but I never went to college. Yes, I got a lot of flack for that. Thankfully, not from my parents, siblings or boyfriend. But, flack all the same, particularly from some very opinionated extended family who seemed to think their input was desired in every aspect of my life, including the ago I should be married, and what my hourly wage should be.

       

 

Kelly & I

The truth is, I never went to school because I never felt I should go. God knows I prayed & begged him to place a desire for it in my heart, so I could see some direction in my life. But, it was never there. I applied to College once, 2 years ago, and declined my acceptances because it felt wrong. But, what felt right? That I couldn't figure out. 

Which brings me to where I am now, in college studying to be a Personal Support Worker. I am there because I knew God was calling me to serve, and this seemed to the place where my heart found rest. 

However, it was more then not feeling God calling me to College that was keeping me away. I was afraid. Not of school, I enjoy learning. Not of making friends, I think I am fairly likable. I was afraid for my faith. I am keenly aware that my faith is a gift from God, one I will never take for granted. And, my entire life I am been in environments that fostered and encouraged my faith. I lived in a good Catholic home, I went to amazing Catholic schools, I had great Catholic friends, I feel in love with a wonderful Catholic man, I served in a beautiful Catholic ministry. I even worked for Catholics. But, I knew College wouldn't be like that, and I was terrified that my faith wouldn't be strong enough to withstand a nearly God-less culture-the culture of death.

I know I cannot be the only Catholic with this same perception of College. I certainly hope I am not, anyway! So, as I began College I had a couple of goals.

1. I wanted to remain & grow strong in my faith, not falter & let it fall. I wanted this experience to test me in ways I hadn't been tested, having spent most of my life around like minded Catholics. I wanted to be driven to me knees in prayer in ways I hadn't been before.

2. I wanted to find community. If nothing else, I know that my very being needs community. I am a very introverted person, so this can sometimes be challenging for me to see & understand, but still I know it's true. I want to find even one person who shares my faith & views with whom I can grow, spiritually.

3. I wanted to love more deeply. This may seem a little bizarre. It is, actually. But, I knew attending college would present me with endless opportunities to disagree with those around me-be it in the classroom or out. I would disagree with things taught in the classroom because of my moral stance. I would disagree with the lifestyles of my peers based on what I know to be true, life-giving & holy. 

In other words, I would make enemies. So, I needed to learn how to love more deeply. Because love is the single most effective way to be an evangelist. Which brings me to my next point.

4. I wanted to minister & evangelize. This is my duty & responsibility as a Catholic, and I knew College would test my ability in this area. I wanted to become well spoken in what I believe, but more then that, I wanted to live a life that was ministry enough.

Preeeaaaccchh ITTT, St. Francis!

So, is being Catholic in College difficult? Oh yes! But is it possible? Matthew 19:26, ladies & gentlemen. I think the most important thing to remember is this;

My prayers are with you...please pray for me as well!

Emily xo

The Privilege of Womanhood-Being A Mother

Motherhood is an amazing gift! And, one given specifically to women. Clearly, I am not a mother, so my knowledge of this particular subject may be somewhat limited. However, I have a mother, and I have seen my Mother throughout numerous pregnancies. I feel I do have a wee bit of insight into this privilege.

First of all, pregnancy. I have heard several women complain about the strains & sorrows associated with being pregnant. And, I have no doubt that it is not all roses & butterflies. Trust me, I have seen my Mother make a beeline to the bathroom, mid-meal, in those early months (& sometimes later months, as well) of pregnancy. Nothing about that screams, "It's a blast!"

However, I am a glass half full kind of gal. While I acknowledge the sometimes awful side effects of pregnancy, I refuse to define pregnancy by them. I think that there are far too many lovely things about those first 9 months of motherhood to get caught up in the sickness, exhaustion, and uncomfortable-ness of it all.

First of all-YOU ARE GROWING ANOTHER PERSON. How phenomenal is that? Your body is housing, nourishing & comforting a tiny little person, conceived (hopefully) out of pure, honest & wholesome love. For me, that in & of itself is enough to convince me of the privilege of motherhood. I do realize though, that is not enough for some.

How about getting to feel this little one grow & develop. I remember being at ultrasounds with my Mom and hearing the baby's heartbeat! What an incredible gift! And, placing my hand on my Mom's stomach while the little one pushed a fist or foot against my hand. Nothing beats that. Seriously.

Now, this part I have no real experience with, as I have never actually had a baby. So, I am relaying on the information from my Mom, aunts, friends and grandmothers. Labour is probably the most painful thing you'll ever endure, I do not doubt that. But, I do marvel at how truly amazing it is that our bodies are designed in such a way that this is possible. Really though, it is amazing that our bodies can endure such extreme pain, push with such force, and in a matters of hours, present the world with a crying little infant. 

And, I am told that the memory of how extreme the labour pain is, leaves within moments of giving birth. I am not saying you totally forget about the pain...I mean you have the cuts, blood & stretch marks to remind you. However, our brains are programmed in such a way that we do not remember the severity of the pain. (I mean, if we did, no one would have more then 1 child).

It just amazes me how our baby & our bodies tell us exactly what to do, and essentially, prepare for the delivery of this child by themselves. It really is incredible. 

And, once you old that new little one in your arms, how could you regret even one second?

How stinking cute?!

Okay, and lastly, the privilege of Motherhood as your children grow. There is no denying that being a Mom is a lot of work. Heck, I put my Mom through the ringer! However, I have never heard a Mother say she wished she was anything else. No one else gets those quiet, middle of the night nursings. Yes, you may be exhausted and wish your baby would just sleep, but you're the only one who can bond with them this way, and you're the one they need. That is a wonderful reality, despite the nagging exhaustion.

And, you get to be there are they grow up and experience new things. No one gets to experience them quite the same way a mother does. You & that child have a bond that begins 9 months before they bonded with any other human being in their life. The relationship you have with your child will be totally different then any relationship they have with their Father, with their siblings or with their friends. You really did love them first, and they loved you first. 

So, remember that you really are privileged as a Mother. Yes, even when your child climbs into your bed or wakes you with their cries in the middle of the night. Yes, even when they throw a tantrum in the middle of Wal-Mart (sorry Mom). Yes, even when they make you want to pull your hair out as a crazy teenager. 

You are privileged, even then.

Emily xo

The Musing a Cup of Coffee Can Inspire

Do you love coffee? I do. However, I do not identify as an addict. I do not need coffee, and no, I am not in denial. I drink coffee because I truly enjoy the taste {it took me ages to get to that point. My NET team can vouch for that}. But, I can go weeks at a time without drinking it, & suffer zero with drawl. I think it's because I don't drink it every single day.

Either way, I enjoy me a good cup o' coffee often. I find comfort in the warm cup, strong taste, steamy trail it leaves in the air. I like the smell of it and the process of making it. It soothes me, and I find comfort in the routine of it. 

Do you? 

I think coffee has some sort of magic about it. Here is what I have learned about coffee:

-It fills silent spaces. 

   When the house is quiet, and you're sitting at the table with your spouse, or friend, or child in the early morning, having a cup of coffee, there is no need for words. You can simply sip and breath in the quiet first moments of the day.

-It open hearts & mouths.

   Coffee offers a comforting start to a challenging conversation or a budding new friendship. Sharing a coffee with someone can open their heart to hear what you have to say, or open their lips to speak to you in confidence.

-It is comforting.

   When the world gets us down, coffee can be a simple source of comfort. A routine, a small joy in a dark space.

-It is a good date.

   It is a good date for girlfriends to catch up. It is a good date for couple to deepen their relationship. It is easy, inexpensive, meaningful and wonderful. The company is more important then what's in the mug.

-It wakens your senses.

   There are few things greater then the smell of coffee in the wee hours of the morning. It wakens your very being, so you can embrace the beautiful day God has made.

-It makes me thankful.

   Having coffee whilst I say my morning prayers not only makes me happy & more alert, but it also makes me thankful. It makes me aware of the small things I take for granted (for example, coffee) & I thank God for them. It is a good companion for my morning visits with my King. After all, what better drink for a Princess? Am I right?

Cheers! Enjoy your coffee, ladies :)

Emily xo

Oh, & did I mention it makes a great blogging partner? No? Well, it does!

The Things I Have Learned About Taking Pictures

1. Take a lot. They are wonderful gifts to look back on, and they truly do say a thousand words.

2. Be wise when taking pictures. Be respectful of other's personal space. No need to start an uproar because you want to capture the moment but your five year old doesn't want to stand still. You're better to let the moment pass, with the camera turned off, and your mind fully present on remembering it.

3. Sometimes there is no reason for a camera. I love taking pictures, I always have. But, when I was in grade 11 I learned a good lesson. I went to the Dominican Republic on a mission trip & we weren't allowed to bring a camera. The reason: they wanted us to be present. The entire trip. Sure, taking a million photos will create a nice scrapbook to look back on, but if you aren't really present in the moment because you're hidden behind a camera then you're missing the entire experience of the trip. So, it's okay to not have a camera.

One person was designated to bring a camera, and snapped
pictures of the trip, thankfully :) The children were trying,
fairly unsuccessfully, to teach us better Spanish.

4. Print them off!! In this age of digital photography it's so easy to save the photos on computers, flash drives and memory sticks. That's great to have for back up. But, nothing beats pictures in an album. So, send them off to the photo lab, buy yourself a good ol' photo album & print them!

5. Don't push it. If someone says, "No", that means no. I am not just talking about a child whose game you've interrupted with your camera. Some adults don't want their picture snapped every thirty seconds either. This is especially true at things like family reunions, where every second person as a camera snapping a hundred pictures of the same thing. It isn't always fun.

6. Don't forget about you. Sometimes we get so caught up in taking the pictures that when we get home, load them onto the computer & look through them, we realize there isn't a single one of you. Make sure you have someone else snap pictures of you, so you can be in the memories too.

7. Less is more. This is true of how many pictures you take, about how often you take the camera with you and of how many shots you have to take of the same thing. Remember, the world will not end if you don't get the perfect shot. You will have the memory, even if the photos not their.

Say Cheese!

Emily xo

The Privilege of Womanhood-Girls & Friends

If you are anything like me, then the thought of girlfriends as a privilege of your womanhood may seem like a stretch. Most of my life, growing up in my small town, I found friendships with other girls to be very overrated! My younger sister, Laura, who just began grade 11, is now taking up her cross & climbing a similar mountain. Her closest friends, at the moment, are boys.

The reality is, girls can be mean. The can be spiteful, cruel and the worst bullies of all. Because, what they say, "sticks & stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me"...well, it isn't true. The most pain I have ever experienced in my life was at the evil hand of words and rumors spoken by girls.

Here is the thing though, having girlfriends can be the greatest gift. It has taken me years to understand and experience that, but it's true. Troy and I have been dating for 4 1/2 years. He is my best friend. But, I have realized that he will never take the place of girlfriends, and placing that expectation on him is hard on our relationship.

Men & women are sooo different, but we both need community. We get companionship in our relationships with the opposite sex, but we need fellowship & community with our own gender. As we get older, and get busier or friendships tend to grow, end or change. But it is important to remember that having at least one or two girlfriends is an irreplaceable gift. They will be able to help, encourage, guide and teach you in a way that a husband, boyfriend or guy friend cannot. Not because of any fault of their own, but just simply because they are created differently then us.

I know as my Mom got older, got married, had babies and got so bust a lot of her friendships that she had when I was very young are more just casual acquaintances now. They share a past, but not a present. Now, my Mom's closest friends are her sisters (she has 3) and her brothers wives (there are 4). They live close to her, share her faith, and are at similar places in their lives. She doesn't go out with them a lot or anything, but they share phone calls and children play dates. I know if you asked her she would tell you that these relationships are key in her life. Not because she doesn't have a wonderful marriage and husband she can share anything with, she does...but sometimes you need to talk to a woman who understands, first hand, the trials of motherhood, and of being a wife. You need the advice and wisdom of other woman in terms of being a faithful woman of God. These are things your husband/boyfriend/guy friends can encourage, but not things they can truly understand, relate to or offer first hand advice about.

So, if you are in the midst of an awful high school experience, and have had your share of girl bullies...I understand. I promise, it will get better. Find good, like-minded girlfriends...your friendship with them will be irreplaceable, come whatever may.

For me, the greatest girlfriends I have are my sisters, and my 'sister' Cecile from my year I served on NET. They are people with whom I share the bond of my faith, and with whom I trust my heart. I am so thankful for them! I love Troy, and am thankful for him...but sometimes I need girl time. 

I think the key to finding a good girl friend is similar to that of finding a good man. You need to look for them in the right places...you will not finding lasting friendships in seedy bars. Look for female fellowship in Church groups. If you're a Mom, seek out Mom fellowship in playgroups or Mom support groups. Look for good friendships in places you feel the most at home, the most comfortable and the most fulfilled. And, of course, trust God to lead good, holy, wholesome, wonderful women in to your life. He will not fail. 

Part 3, The Privilege of Womanhood is about being a Mother. Stay tuned!

Emily xo 

Prayer & Fasting

Dear Pope Francis has proclaimed today a day of fasting & prayer for Peace-specifically for peace in Syria. 

Please, join in this prayer today!

Emily xo

The Privilege of Womanhood- All it's G{l}ory

If you are a woman, or know a woman, then you know that we are given lots of opportunity to complain & be pessimists about our "hood". In a single day we can be given upwards of 50 different things related to womanhood we dislike, are annoyed by or make us feel downright awful. But, I am here to tell you that womanhood, in all it's glory (or gory, haha) is a true, wonderful privilege & gift...even when it feels like a curse.

First of all, PMS... once a month we become a giant tumbleweed of raging emotions and, of course, we feel like crap, thanks to our little 'friend'. If you're anything like me then you become to resent your womanhood for at least a week every month. And, rightfully so. It is awful and miserable.

However, maybe there's another way to look at. I have always had very awful periods. Maybe that's too much information (sorry). I remember one time, years ago, I was home from school 'sick' and was lying on the couch, clutching a heating pad to my abdomen. I was feeling nauseous and miserable, and sorry for myself. I looked at my Mom and said, "At least one day I'll be able to have babies, right? That's the good part of feeling so awful every month."

Obviously, there is no guarantee of fertility, but knowing my body was working correctly was the best promise I had of fertility, and that was enough to get me through. I hold tight to that every time I am hit with a wave of period cramps, nausea, and emotional roller coasters.

I think that clinging to that hope, and potential of one day being a mother is the bright side to this misery of womanhood. My aunt is interning as a NFP Creighton Model practitioner. When she first started out she asked if I would like to take the program from her. I agreed, and am so thankful I did! I highly recommend looking into it. I makes you truly grateful of the gift of your womanhood. It is helpful in understanding how your body works, and why it is the way it is. Even if you are unmarried (me), and not sexually active (me) it is most certainly worth your while!

Part 2 of The Privilege of Womanhood is going to be about girlfriends...keep an eye out for that!

Mary, Mother of Jesus, pray for us!

Emily xo

First Day

Today was my very first day of College. It went well, actually. I am glad to have it behind me. Now, only too many more to go :)

For me, the first day of school is basically the first day of fall. And, you can see signs of fall right here at home already. Over the weekend my brother and I took a little walk around our property with my camera, & snapped a few photos of fall beginning.

The apples on our trees are ripe and delicious! A sure sign of fall:)

The garden is reaching an end, & everything is ripening and ready for the picking!

Pumpkins-Fall is HERE!

Who could resist some sunflower pictures? Tell me, WHO?

This was my view on Sunday. I was working on some blogs & enjoying the fall day:)

Happy Fall-time!

Emily xo

The Best of Fall

I love fall. I mean, yes, I enjoy summer & the beach & the warm sun. But, I fall in love with fall. I love the fall colours & the lovely clothes. I cannot get enough of the smells of fall..the leaves, the pumpkins, the warm tea, the candles. Everything.

So in honour of this time of year I am posting about some of my favourite fall things. Thank you, Pinterest.

All the best things <3

It looks so inviting & cozy. Sigh.

Fall in France. So lovely! Look at those trees!

Imagine coming home from work to this. How could you be anything but cheery!

Cabin in the woods. Imagine all the wonderful fall smells! Oh the leaves!

Gorgeous. This is why I want a fall wedding.

Books AND Fall...does life get better? Oh, wait. It does. Add this...

Things just got better. Look at that coffee, would you!

Apples & cider, oh my!

AND-you get to wear things like this! Perfect!

And, things like this!

Fall food...yum. You can bet I will be testing out this recipe for Apple Cider Pancakes!

And, of course, some Guinness Stew for those chilly fall evenings!

And, Pie for Thanksgiving! MMMMM!

I, of course, have a "The Best of Fall" Pinterest Board. I am sure I will be happily "pinning" away over there with all sorts of fall goodness! So, head on over there for more fall inspiration :)

Happy Fall!

Emily xo

p.s. today's my first day of school...tuck in a prayer for me, please & thank-you!

Happy Labour Day!

I hope all my Canadian & American friends had a lovely long Labour Day weekend! I know I did. And, now school begins back up again tomorrow. Sigh. Where did the summer go?

However, I am looking forward to the fall time. I love the cozy sweaters, pumpkins, apples and pie. I love the cool weather and the changing leaves. I love hunting season and Thanksgiving. But, it also means our world is preparing for another long, cold winter. That, I don't love so much.

I wanted to just do a quick post including some pictures from my weekend. My brothers began one last supper project, and was it ever a good one. They built themselves a 'Jeep'. Boy oh boy, they are sure creative when they want to be. Will their marks reflect that this school year? Ya, probably not.

The 'Jeep', in all it's glory!

The base is from an old metal wagon. 

Notice they even have a spare tire on the back, not to be confused the the tire that is the steering wheel.

Like their seat? A cushion from an old stroller.

Oh, this is their wagon.

A proud kiddo attaching the wagon.

They haven't quite figured out how they are going to get it to drive, but for now they spend hours pushing each other up & down the drive way. Oh to be little again!

Good luck to any of you heading back to work or school tomorrow after a short summer!

Emily xo